Defying Gravity
by nikkiRA
Summary: Complete, Blackwater/ 'Well if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost.' Jacob copes with being another one of Renesmee's play things while Leah copes with her growing feelings for Jacob.
1. In Which Sam and Emily Get Married

**Hey, a chaptered Blackwater fic! No way! **

**I don't know how quickly updates will come. For those who don't know, updates are my enemy. I'm terrible. I've written four chapters for this already, but who knows with me. **

**Anyway, enough rambling!**

**This is rated T, mind you there might be later chapters rated M, I haven't decided yet. And Leah likes to swear. So be ready for that. **

**One last thing! The quote in the summary is from the play Wicked, which I would love to see. But alas.  
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Standing in front of the mirror, in the not-quite-as-pretty-as-Emily-had-predicted pink strapless bridesmaid dress, Leah came to the conclusion that her right boob was significantly larger then her left one.

Now she knew that everyone had one boob that was bigger then the other (well, not men, but Leah didn't have time to get into all the things men didn't have to go through), just like everybody had a leg that was a little bit longer (she was 12 when she first found that out, and she got so freaked out she made seven year old Seth tug on her left leg for 45 minutes). But she hadn't expected it to be so _noticeable!_ But there it was, staring her right in the face (or rather, chest). Her right boob was significantly larger then her left one.

She was standing there, contemplating that unfortunate turn of events, when Jacob Black, her escort, walked in, looking quite handsome (not that she would ever admit that) in his black tux.

"Leah? Come on, let's go."

Leah didn't move, simply cocked her head and tried to look at her chest from a different angle. Nope. Still bigger.

"Um, Leah, what are you doing?"

Leah sighed, putting her hands on her hips and talking to Jacob's reflection in the mirror.

"My right boob is significantly larger then my left one."

Jacob's face turned confused.

"Er… that's great, Leah…"

"No, it's not great. It throws the whole dress out of whack."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but we've got to go."

Leah still didn't move, cocking her head the other way. It still didn't make her boobs look the same size.

"Leah?"

"Hmm?"

"This isn't about your boobs."

"It isn't?"

"Nope."

"Well, enlighten me, Jacob. What _is _this about?"

"You don't want to do this, and you're using your boobs as an excuse."

Leah laughed. "Hate to break it to you, Jacob, but your amazing insight into my disfigured chest is totally wrong."

"You're using your boobs as an excuse to not go out there, because you don't want to be here, and you don't want to be the maid of honour."

He was so right, and that pissed her off to no end.

"Alright, so I don't want to see my ex- boyfriend marry my cousin, is there something wrong with that?"

"Not at all. But hiding behind your chest is wrong."

Leah rolled her eyes. "You're right, O Great One, I will forever on face my problems."

"Why did you even say yes, Leah?"

Leah turned around and faced him.

"What else was I supposed to do? She didn't really give me a choice."

"She said, 'Leah, if this is too hard for you, I completely and fully understand. You don't need to do this.'"

"Yes, but she didn't actually-"

"Leah."

Leah sighed, looking around for a chair to slump into. There wasn't one, so she just tugged on her braid.

"Look, I don't want to talk about this. I just want to get this stupid goddamn wedding over with so I never have to wear this stupid goddamn dress again."

Jacob grinned. "I'm with you. And you're right- pink is not your colour."

Leah hit him hard in the chest before looping her arm through his and exiting the room, smiling wide (and totally falsely) as she walked down the aisle.

She tried to imagine. She tried to picture that it was _her_ wedding, that Jacob was her father, walking her down the aisle. That her ugly pink dress was replaced with a white one, one that looked nicer on her, and that her short hair hadn't had to be tugged at so fiercely to put it into a braid that she felt like her scalp had been tugged off. She tried to imagine that Sam was waiting for _her_.

But that wasn't the truth. The truth was it wasn't her wedding; she was stuck in this stupid dress, with Jacob Black walking her down the aisle as she went and stood next to Rachel and Kim, trying to smile when all she really wanted to do was cry. Because this was not her wedding, and Sam was not waiting for her. Sam didn't even glance at her.

Jacob gave her a little squeeze and a look that said they would talk about it. Leah scowled at him. It was really annoying, the way he seemed to pick up on whenever something was wrong. Guys weren't supposed to be that intoned with emotion. God knows Leah could scream bloody murder and slam her door and throw things around and Seth still wouldn't know something was wrong with her.

Leah resisted the urge to cross her arms over her chest. She resisted the urge to yank out her hair. She resisted the urge to phase and run off to Canada. And when Emily started to walk down the aisle, she resisted the urge to lunge at her and ruin the _other _side of her face.

She was a terrible person. She was a terrible cousin. She was a terrible maid of honour.

Sam, for his part, didn't notice that his ex-girlfriend was thinking of ways to severely injure his bride. Sam didn't seem to notice anyone, really. No one except Emily. Who didn't even really look that pretty. And Leah wasn't thinking that because she was vindictive, or anything. She just didn't look that pretty. Her hair was pulled tightly back, so that Emily's face was taut, and the dress clung tightly but not tight enough, so that you could clearly see Emily's lack of curves.

Smirking slightly, Leah thought that she would rather have two mismatched boobs then no boobs at all.

Sam didn't seem to have a problem with Emily's boobs, or lack thereof. Sam didn't seem to have a problem with anything, actually. Of course, that would probably change if he could hear Leah's thoughts at the moment.

Leah looked at the line of ushers. Sam's best man was Jacob, simply because of blood, so he stood there, looking around, looking bored. Behind him, Paul and Jared stood. Leah felt like an outcast, the imprints all standing together, and then her. She glanced at Jacob. _Renesmee_ should have been maid of honour. Then the happy imprint clan would be complete. In the first row sat Quil, Embry, Seth, and all the newer wolves. Emily only knew so many bridesmaids, after all.

Emily was taking forever to walk up the damn aisle. Really, Leah wasn't getting any younger. Mind you, Leah wasn't getting any older, either. Dammit. Couldn't she just hurry up?

When she (finally!) did get to the front, Emily smiled beatifically at Leah and handed her the bouquet. Leah smiled back and tried to concentrate on something else. Hmm, let's see… books. Movies. Love. Romance. Richard Gere. Emily loved Richard Gere. No, fuck, that wasn't working. Pillows. Blankets. Bed. Sam and Emily in a bed. Goddammit!

Leah let her gaze wander and it rested on Jacob Black. Hmm, that could work. Jacob Black. Bella Swan. Renesmee Cullen. Imprint. Sam imprinting. Sam imprinting on Emily. Sam imprinting on Emily and leaving Leah. Fuck! Even Jacob had betrayed her.

"I do."

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Emily had just said 'I do.' She knew what was coming next. Something that held only pain. Only pain, only for her.

Gee, wasn't she lucky.

She looked up and found herself staring at Jacob. She didn't look away, just stared at him. He was almost anchoring her to the earth, and she stared at him as Sam said the words she had regretted hearing for years.

"I do."

Pain swelled up, starting at her toes and making it's way up, stabbing into her lungs and her heart and all of those internal organs that matter most. The pain nearly suffocated her, and she closed her eyes, trying hard to fight against it. _Pain, pain, go away, come again another day._ That was the problem. It always came back.

The crowd cheered, people cried, Sam and Emily kissed, but all Leah wanted to do was hunt. Yes, killing a deer or a duck or _anything_ would make her feel a hell of a lot better right now.

xxx.

"Dance with me?"

Jacob Black stood over Leah, smiling, holding out his hand. Leah glared up at him from her seat. She was sitting at the unofficial werewolf table, poking at her food. Embry was on her left, and Seth was on her right. Jared and Kim were dancing, Paul and Rachel were making out, Quil was holding Claire and twirling around the dance floor in a way that was sure to end badly, and Sam and Emily were dancing, if you could call it that. To Leah, it just looked like they were having sex with clothes on, they were pressed so closely together.

"No."

Jacob didn't listen, just grabbed her arm and yanked her up. She glowered at him.

"I said no."

"I know."

"You're so fucking annoying."

"That's a bit like the pot calling the kettle black, isn't it?" He asked. Leah pulled away from him, but Jacob was stronger. He simply smiled and dragged her into the middle of the dance floor, linking his arms around her waist while she- begrudgingly- lifted hers around his neck. Leah had to admit, it was nice dancing with someone who was actually taller then she was.

"It's almost over, Leah."

Leah sighed, her eyes roaming and finally landing on his shoulder.

"It's never over. It never will be over. Sure, the wedding will end, but after that, there will be anniversaries, child births... they'll always be together. It will never be over."

Jacob didn't know what to say to that, so he simply pulled her closer and they danced until the song ended. Leah pulled away abruptly after that and sat back down.

"What, no more dances?"

"I'm done dancing."

"Come on Leah."

"No."

Jacob sighed, but sat down next to her anyway.

"You can still dance, you know."

"Who else am I going to dance with?"

Leah looked around.

"Well, there's Kim. Emily. Rachel. That one girl who keeps staring at you, the one with the really thick eyeliner? I'm sure she would dance with you."

Jacob didn't say anything, just picked at the food that was on Seth's plate.

"Jacob? If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

He thought for a moment.

"No."

Leah continued on anyway.

"Do you think its right? The way you have to wait? I mean, it's better for you, because she ages quickly, and she's probably old enough that you could now, if you wanted to, even though I know you have that whole weird, wait until she's actually eighteen thing going on. But what about Quil? Do you think it's right that he still has years before he gets to be with the person he's supposed to be with?"

"Leah, you know what I think about imprinting."

"But is it the same? That's what I've been wondering. Do you still think the same, even though you've imprinted?"

Jacob sighed, leaned back against his chair.

"Yes. Sort of. Relatively."

"That doesn't clear up anything. It just adds more questions."

"I think that being trapped like that, it's wrong. I still think that, even though it's happened to me. I don't like how much it hurts, being away from her. I don't like how I would do anything for her. I would rather love her through my own free will, instead of some weird voodoo magic spell that makes it so that I can't breathe unless she's there."

Leah didn't answer for a minute, but then she said, "Do you wish you had never imprinted on her?" She couldn't bring herself to say the spawn's name. Jacob's eyes clouded over, and he turned away from her.

"They're throwing the bouquet," he said, and sure enough, there was Emily, beckoning her over. Leah let out a low sigh, but she got up and went over anyway. It wasn't like she had much of a choice.

Women were crowded all around her. Old woman, young woman, even Claire was there, high up on Quil's shoulders, which was definitely not allowed. Emily grinned at them all and then turned her back, and to Leah, it seemed like the moment that followed was in slow motion, the way Emily's arms flew over her head, the way the bouquet left her hands, and the way a million different hands suddenly flew out, desperate to catch the flowers. Leah wanted to stop on their toes.

The bouquet, on the other hand, was heading straight towards her. Leah had a second to think about the irony of it all before she reached out and grabbed the flowers, snatching them out of the clutches of fifty other women. Emily smiled at her, and a few women glared at her, and finally Leah's brain caught up with her actions, and she looked down at the flowers in her hand and concentrated on not throwing them underneath her heels and stomping on them.

"So when's the wedding?" Leah looked up to see Jacob grinning at her, and she resisted the urge to throw the stupid flowers at him.

"I'm doing you a favour. Thick Eyeliner Girl was ready to pounce."

"Yes, you're a saint," he said sarcastically. She looked once again at the flowers in her hands.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with these?" She asked, and Jacob shrugged.

"I don't know. Hold onto them. Maybe they'll bring you luck. Maybe you'll _imprint,_" he teased, and Leah rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, that'd be great," she said. But as she looked at Sam and Emily, once again acting like the Happy Married Couple they were, she couldn't help but wonder if maybe it would be better. If maybe the pain would go away.

xxx.

Seth was delirious enough to ask, when they got home, if Leah had fun.

"Oh, yes, Seth, so much fun. Because seeing my ex marry my cousin is my idea of a good day."

Seth went silent, and Leah immediately felt bad, guilt creeping up on her, something that hadn't affected her in years. Damn, she was going soft.

"Sorry Leah. I forgot. I was tired..."

"I know. It's fine."

But it wasn't fine, and a wall suddenly slammed itself down in the middle of them. Leah excused herself awkwardly to her room, where she tugged off her dress and took her hair down.

Standing in front of the mirror, Leah stared at herself. She was pretty. There was no denying it. She didn't want to be conceited, but she was. She had heard it from many people. And even after she had to cut her hair short, she was still pretty. She was prettier then Emily. Much prettier then Emily.

But, she reminded herself bitterly, it wasn't how you looked that made you imprint. It was who you were on the inside. It was meeting the one person who you could connect to, who shared the same personality as you. Emily and Sam were alike in so many ways- that's why they were meant to be together.

There was nobody out there as bitter and cynical as her, apparently. Apparently, she thought bitterly, she was completely unlovable.

She picked up the flowers she had caught at the wedding, stuck her nose in them, and then chucked them against the wall. When they were still there in the morning, she went out in the back and burned them.

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**I have absolutely no idea when this takes place. **

**I'm thinking that Renesmee would be old enough that she's more aware of love. She's not old enough for Jacob to want to be with her yet, but she's old enough that she's thinking about love and relationships. As to why Sam and Emily took so long to get married, while, who knows. Maybe they're one of those couples who get engaged and don't get married until four years later.**

**More reviews, quicker updates!**


	2. In Which Sam Uses the Word 'Entities'

**I wanted to post one last chapter before the New Year. I'm not sure if I'll be posting anything tomorrow, so if I don't, Happy New Years everyone!  
(and by the way, for future references, the chapter titles will be completely irrelevant. So don't get excited, or anything, because they're so random, haha.)**

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Leah wondered, not for the first time, if killing herself would be effective. Would a bullet through her head splatter her brains all over the wall, or would it just make a mess she would have to clean up later? Would a knife in the chest stop her heart, or would it just cause some bleeding that would heal in a day or so? Would swallowing pills kill her, or would she just digest them?

God, sometimes being a werewolf really sucked.

Leah stared at Emily, sitting on Sam's lap, his arms wrapped around her waist.

Scratch that. Being a werewolf _always_ sucked.

Jacob followed her gaze. He cleared his throat.

"Alright, Sam. What is this about?"

Sam looked up. Emily shifted off his lap and onto the seat next to him. Somehow, this didn't make Leah feel any better.

"Look. I really think this split pack thing has been going on long enough."

Leah immediately tensed. So that was what this was all about. Sam and his issues with not being the leader of everyone.

"We're a pack. A team. You're all an integral part. You help us work. You..."

Sam continued to say things equally corny. She half expected him to tell them that they were the cheese to his macaroni. During his speech, Emily sat beside him, nodding along, as if she understood the first bit of what was going on. As if her opinion meant anything to anybody else but Sam.

Bitter? Ha. There was no bitterness at all.

"Sam," Jacob cut him off in the middle. Leah was glad for it. She was getting sick and tired of his voice. She briefly recalled a time when Sam's voice was the most prominent thing in her world. She wondered when that had changed. Looking at her cousin next to him, Leah sensed it had something to do with her.

"Look, Sam," Jacob continued. Leah wondered if Sam's voice had dulled in her head because he had begun to mean less to her, or because she didn't hear it as much anymore, because it was directed at somebody else.

Looking at Sam and Emily's intertwined hands, she figured it was the latter.

"Now I can't speak for everybody in the pack," Jacob told him, his face serious. Leah almost wanted to laugh. A pack? One leech lover, one cynical bitch, and one teenager. Wow, they were certainly a force to be reckoned with.

"But I know I can speak for myself when I tell you that I cannot rejoin the pack, Sam. I'm sorry. I wish things could go back to how they were, but they can't. If Leah and Seth want to leave, then I will not stop them." The way he said the words _will not stop them_ made Leah wonder at the double meaning behind them. Sam seemed to pick up on this, too, since his jaw tightened. He turned towards Leah.

"Leah?"

She tensed up and unconsciously scooted closer to Jacob. "I know my place. I know where I belong."

Beside her, she could sense Jacob was trying to hold back a grin. Sam's eyes flashed for a second, but then he turned to Seth.

"I suppose I know your answer?"

Seth shrugged.

"Sorry Sam. I stay with them."

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Alright. I suppose this decision is final. We will continue to exist as separate entities, relaying important information when the need arises."

Jacob stood- Leah and Seth followed. She felt like she was in the army. Especially the way Sam had said _entities._

"Sam?" Jacob asked. Sam turned his head towards him as Leah lingered by the door.

"This doesn't change anything, does it? We're still brothers."

A ghost of a smile lit Sam's face.

"Still brother's."

Leah snorted. She half expected them to run to each other and do some sort of male secret handshake before patting each other on the back. Instead, Jacob just turned around and pushed her out the door.

"Well, that was interesting," he remarked. Leah let out a breath of disbelief.

"That's a word for it."

Jake and Leah continued to walk in silence, while Seth straggled along behind them, whistling idly. Leah glanced at Jake. He was staring ahead, hands in his pockets, his eyes glazed over, and Leah could tell he wasn't paying attention. This was proved when he stubbed his toe on a rock, nearly falling on his face. Leah barked out a laugh.

"Shut up," Jake said half heartedly.

"Graceful."

"Hey, Jake?"

"Yeah kid?"

"Can I leave?"

Something in Seth's voice made Leah turn her head. "Why? Got a date?"

Seth ducked his head. Leah stopped walking.

"Seth?"

Seth started whistling again. A wide grin spread across Jacob's face.

"What's her name, Seth?"

"Becky," Seth said, and he couldn't stop a smile from spreading.

"Did you…?" Leah asked, a feeling of dread creeping up into her throat.

"Imprint? No."

The feeling subsided, and Leah smiled slightly.

"Good. Go on, Seth."

Seth didn't even look back. He just bounded away.

"That's how love's supposed to be," Jacob muttered, so quietly Leah wondered if he had said anything at all.

xxx.

Jacob walked Leah back to her house. She stopped at her door, staring out at the rain clouds. Leah was so damn sick of rain.

"You know what's ironic?" She asked.

"What?"

"It's rained basically everyday this year except on the day of Sam and Emily's wedding."

Jacob let out a ghost of a smile.

"I guess that means they're meant for each other, right?"

Jacob shot her a look. She brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"But I'm not bitter."

"No, not at all."

They stared out at the storm clouds in silence for a few more moments. Finally, Leah said, "What are you doing now?"

Jake kicked at the porch, as if he didn't want to answer. "Going over to Nessie's."

Leah bit her tongue. She had noticed a long time ago that 'Bella and Edward's' had turned into 'Nessie's.'

"Oh. Well, I'll see you later then."

"Leah?"

"What?"

"Do you want to come?"

Leah bit her lip. "Not really."

He smiled. "I figured as much. But will you come anyway?"

"Why?"

Jacob looked towards the sky, as if asking for help from the heavens.

"Nahuel is here."

Leah fought the urge to smirk. She did so anyway. Jacob was feeling insecure about his little imprint? Jacob saw this, scowled, and walked away.

"Jake? Oh come on, I'm sorry!"

"Forget it, Leah. Go home."

"Come on, Jake. Look, I'll come with you if you promise not to be all lovey-dovey and sickening. No pet names."

Jacob let out an odd sound. "I used to hate pet names," he mumbled. Leah didn't bother responding to this. She just kept walking.

"When did he get here?"

"Yesterday," Jacob said bitterly. He kicked at a rock, sending it flying. Leah wondered how she was supposed to go about this. She wasn't exactly one for comfort. Was she supposed to be kind, caring and gentle? Leah wasn't very good at kind, caring, and gentle. Leah was more of a, suck it up, you're life's not that bad, get over it type of person.

Somehow, she didn't think this technique would much help Jake.

"Why is he here?" She would just try short, to the point questions.

_"Visiting," _Jake said, in such a voice Leah could tell he didn't buy this.

"Why is he visiting?"

"Apparently, he wants to spend time with us. Something about belonging." Jacob's voice sounded as if he was describing something much more vulgar then someone visiting. It sounded as if he were describing a brutal murder of a child.

"What's so wrong about that, Jake?"

He shot her a sharp glance. "How about the only other half vampire in the world who isn't related to him is here, and she's _my_ imprint?"

Leah looked away. Kind and caring wasn't working too well.

"Then why don't you just rip his throat out?" It came out before she could stop it, and Leah closed her eyes, suppressing a groan. That wasn't how gentle was supposed to be. Gentle was supposed to be assuring him that _of course_ his stupid, beautiful, creepy, half leech imprint loved him. _Of course_ she did.

To her surprise, Jake laughed. "That's why I keep you around, Leah."

"Glad to hear my only reason for existence is to provide you with entertainment through my bitter sarcasm."

Jacob laughed again, and his walk had a familiar bounce to it.

As always, Leah could smell them before she could see them. Her nose wrinkled automatically, and she involuntarily slowed down.

"It's not that bad, Leah."

"You're right. It's terrible. Remind me next time to stick my nose up a skunk's ass before I come."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Why do I bring you?"

"Don't you remember?" Leah asked, her voice dripping in sarcasm, "I provide you with entertainment through my bitter sarcasm."

On that note, they reached the Cullen household. Jacob walked right in, but Leah loitered by the porch. He shot her an annoyed look over his shoulder.

"Are you coming?"

"Eventually. Let me get used to the smell."

"You never get used to the smell," he muttered, and Leah smiled. That was the Jacob she knew.

She followed behind him into the house. The Cullen household was a beautiful building; even though Leah would rather spend a night there tucked in with the vamps then admit it. She had wanted a house just like it when she was younger. Mind you, when she was younger and envisioned it, Sam was there, and it didn't reek of vampire. She wasn't a giant hairy monster, either.

Damn, growing up sucked.

It was right at that moment Edward came around the corner, looking at her amusedly. Damn, she had forgotten he could read minds.

"Jacob, what an unexpected surprise," he said, and Leah fought to burst out laughing. _Unexpected?_ He could read minds and the other one could see the damn future. How was _anything _unexpected?

Another sharp look from Edward, and Leah wondered why she had come.

Then a laugh from the living room, a sound like a million tinkling bells (though it killed her to admit it) and a deeper laugh, a male laugh, and Jacob's face told her exactly why she had come.

"Let's go, Jake," she urged, pushing him towards the living room. She may not have liked her, but whether she liked it or not, Jacob loved the stupid little monstrosity.

A low growl came from behind. Edward was suddenly right beside her. Leah resisted the urge to plug her nose.

"If you would like to stay in this house, control your thoughts, please," he said quietly, his voice smooth. Leah smirked.

_Who said I want to stay in this house?_

"Then leave. No one is keeping you here."

Leah didn't answer. She didn't think, either.

"Why are you here?"

_Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses, da da da da da da kittens in mittens, do do do do do do do do do do do, these are a few of my favourite things. _

"You're not even singing it right." He said, silky smooth, and Leah smirked.

"Jake!"

And then, abruptly, she stopped.

"Hey Ness," Jake grinned, wrapping his arms around her as she flung herself at him, spinning her around the room in a way that reminded Leah of those cheesy chick flicks movie she always watched late at night when no one else was awake, the volume down low so no one would know.

Leah made her way over to the side of the room, staying as far away from the scene as she could. She stared up at the ceiling. She twiddled her thumbs. She tried to remember the words to _My Favourite Things. _She tried hard not to concentrate on the smell, or the beautiful child- teenager, woman, whatever- sitting in the crook of Jacob's arm. She tried not to concentrate on Jacob's face as Renesmee focused on Nahuel, tried not to breathe, tried not to think, tried to do nothing but just _be_.

"Do you prefer it there?" She heard the spawn's voice say, and then Nahuel came, right after.

"It is home. But I think that this place could very well become my home, too."

"But you can only have one true home," Jacob butt in, and Leah rolled her eyes. _Subtle, Jake. Subtle. _

"I don't think that's true. I think that home can be defined as a place, or an object, or a person. A person who makes you feel like you belong, a person who makes you feel safe, comforted. What is it they say? _Home is where your heart is?_"

Leah felt her heart beat. She didn't know about Creepy Half Vampire Number Two, but her heart was in her chest.

"I've got to go, Jacob."

He glanced up at her. His face was tired, and she could see the way Renesmee was leaning forward, the way Jacob was trying to keep his arm around her shoulders. She tried to find something romantic about that. She failed.

"Are you sure?" She could see it in face that he wanted her to stay, if just so that someone else was as uncomfortable as him. She could see that he wanted her to stay so that she could later assure him that Nahuel was a bastard who had no right to come anywhere near them. She could see that he wanted her to stay, and she didn't care.

She laughed without humour.

"Pretty sure, yeah."

"Uh, okay, well, bye Leah."

She didn't say goodbye. She didn't wave. She didn't look back; she just walked out the door, passed Edward, who said something she didn't hear. Then she phased into a wolf and tried, really tried to figure out why she was so damn upset.


	3. In Which Bitch Hangs Out w Leech Lover

**I have been doing nothing but homework for the past four hours. I knew leaving it until the last minute was a bad idea. Gahhh.**

**Unfortunately, the proper title for this chapter couldn't fit, so I had to shorten it. The real name was, 'In Which Self-Righteous Bitch Hangs Out with Leech Lover.'**

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**"Explain to me why we're patrolling again?"

Jacob sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Because Edward wants to be on the lookout for the Volturi. He thinks they might be planning another attack."

Leah snorted. "Shouldn't they be able to, like, see things like that? I mean, he can read minds, and whats-her-face, the short one," Leah said, knowing how much it pissed Jacob off when she called them things like that, since he knew fully well she knew all their names by now, "she can see the future and all… why do we need to _patrol?_ And why the hell aren't they helping us?"

Jacob sighed again. "Leah, if you're going to complain, then leave."

"I wish," she mumbled under her breath. Jacob kicked a rock at her. She glared.

"You do _not _want to go there."

He grinned. "Why?"

"Because if we get into a rock fight, I'll kick your ass. And I know you don't want to have to suffer through that embarrassment."

"You just keep on telling yourself that, Leah."

"I will," she said stubbornly, kicking a rock back at him. Jake just rolled his eyes.

"Alright, Leah, you take the southern border of the forest, okay? And Seth, you take up until the border of La Push, okay?"

"Got it," Seth replied, bounding off happily like a dog running to fetch a Frisbee. Leah just stood there. Jake looked at her.

"You can go, now."

Leah immediately stood up straight. "Yes, O Great Alpha Jacob," she said, saluting. Jake scowled at her.

"Seriously."

"Your wish is my command, O Great Alpha. I will follow your every order. I will stop a train for you, dearest Alpha. I would stop a speeding bullet for you. Well, once."

"You know, Leah, you should take a page out of Seth's book. It would make you a lot more agreeable."

"I'm not aiming to be agreeable, Most Honourable Leader of mine."

"Then what are you aiming at, Most Infuriating Beta of mine?"

"I'm aiming to piss the whole entire world off," she told him seriously.

"Well, you're succeeding."

"And now I can sleep at night."

"Leah…"

"Right. Patrolling now. Protecting the world from evil bloodsucking bloodsuckers, 24/7, that's my job. Do you have a leech problem? Just call Leah Clearwater, and she'll be there, along with her useless brother and her big stupid Alpha, who, if you're not careful, might just fall in love with your leech, so watch out…"

"Are you done now?"

"I think so, yeah."

"Good, now go."

With one last salute, Leah left. She undressed among the trees and phased. A moment later she could sense Jacob there, as well.

They ran in silence for a while, the only disturbance being Seth running into a tree.

_Smooth, Seth, _Jake commended him, while Leah did the wolf equivalent of laughing.

_Sorry, I wasn't paying attention…_

_We know, _Leah said. Seth's thoughts had been focused entirely on Becky. She was tall and pretty, and she played volleyball. She also had a very nice body, which Leah had been forced to look at every time it popped up in Seth's mind, which was a lot. Leah didn't like her.

_You don't like anyone,_ Jake told her.

_Well that's not true. I'm a big fan of Brad Pitt. _

_Really?_

_Yep. _

_I've never seen why he's apparently so desirable. His wife, now, she's hot. _

_I don't like her._

_I know. You don't like anyone. _

_I like Brad Pitt. I like Steven Spielberg, too. He makes good movies. _

They ran in silence for a little bit more. Then…

_Seth! I swear to God if I have to look at this stupid chick naked one more time I will compile every embarrassing photo and video we have of you and take them over to her house to show her._

_Sorry._

Leah sighed.

_O Great Alpha?_

_Yes?_

_I think it's safe to say our lovely little neighbourhood is vampireless, not counting the ones that always reside here. Can we stop?_

Jake sighed. _I guess._

_Good. 'Cause I was going to stop anyway. _

When Leah got back to her clothes, Jacob was already there, human and dressed. She growled at him. He turned around.

Pulling on her sweatpants, Leah lifted up her bra. The straps were tied together and there was a big hole in the band. She swore under her breath. She really needed new clothes.

"Alright, you can turn around," she said, just as Seth came into view.

"Well that was fun!"

Leah snorted. "Seth, have you been sniffing white-out again?"

"I'm serious! I like spending time with you guys."

"Thanks, kid. I like spending time with you, too. Now stop kissing up and go do whatever you want to do."

"Thanks Jake!" Seth said, bounding off again. Both of the werewolves watched him leave.

"Why didn't I make him Beta?" Jake asked Leah as they started walking back.

"Because I'm nicer to look at."

"Ah, that's it."

They walked in silence for a little while more, making no sound as they trudged through the forest. Finally, when they reached La Push, Jacob stopped.

"Do you wanna just hang out today?" He asked. Leah looked at him.

"No Loch Ness Monster?" She asked. Jacob growled.

"Don't call her that. And no."

"Why?"

"I just want to hang out with my Beta, that's all."

Leah surveyed him. "They won't let you, will they?"

Jacob sighed. "It's vampire bonding time today. No werewolves allowed."

"A crying shame."

"Leah, come on. We haven't spent quality time together in a long time."

"'Quality time'? God, I feel like I'm in some lame sitcom."

"We don't have to call it that."

"What can we call it then, Jake?"

"How about, 'Sexy werewolf hangs out with self-righteous bitch'?"

"Oh Jake. I don't think you're a self-righteous bitch. Don't be so hard on yourself."

Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Alright, how about, 'Self-righteous bitch hangs out with leech lover?"

Jacob sighed. "How about you go home and watch old _Family Feud _episodes by yourself again?"

Leah narrowed her eyes. "Have you been spying on me?"

Jacob barked out a laugh. "That was a guess."

Leah turned away and started walking. "Whatever, it's not _Family Feud._ It's _Press Your Luck."_

"My mistake."

They continued to walk. Jacob's stomach rumbled. Leah smirked.

"Very attractive Jacob, I can see what Renesmabelledwalicemmrosajasparlisle sees in you."

Jacob stared at her. "What did you just call her?"

"Well, the Cullen's like to mix names, right?"

Jacob closed his eyes and shook his head. Then he said, "I'm going to MacDonald's."

"_You're _going to MacDonald's? What happened to our self-righteous bitch hangs out with leech lover quality time?"

Jacob grinned. "You can come, if you want. But I'm not paying for you."

Leah and Jacob got a table in MacDonald's, both ordering two Happy Meals and another combo on top of that.

"People are staring," Jacob commented while they stuffed their faces.

"It's me. I'm just so attractive; people's eyes are just drawn."

Jacob laughed, sending a piece of fry across the table, landing on some ladies ass. Leah immediately burst into laughter, covering her mouth, while Jacob reached out, trying to wipe it off.

"Stop!" Leah gasped, while Jacob almost fell off his seat, trying to reach the lady. "She's going to think you're making a pass at her."

They both looked at the woman. She was probably about 45, and was wearing a matching purple suit and skirt ensemble. Her ass was very large, as was her chest, and she had teeth that were so large they stuck out of her mouth. She was wearing a purple hat with fruit on it. Both Jacob and Leah erupted into laughter. The lady turned and glared at them.

"It's rude to stare," Leah told her. The lady blushed a deep shade of red and looked away, which caused Leah and Jacob to laugh harder.

When Jacob and Leah were finished their meals, they left the MacDonald's and made their way to the beach. It was cold for summer, but Leah wasn't bothered. Who needed a jacket when you had a body temperature of 108.9 degrees?

"So, what exactly does vampire bonding time entail?" Leah asked Jacob as they took a seat on the beach.

"I don't know. As I'm not a vampire, I'm not privy to that information."

"But doesn't she…" Leah gestured, at a loss for words, before placing a hand on Jacob's face. "_That?"_

Jacob sighed, leaning back on his hands. Leah let her hand drop to the sand.

"Renesmee… she doesn't tell me much. Not anymore."

"What do you mean? She seemed pretty happy to see you yesterday."

Jacob turned his head away from her, so she was looking at his profile. The setting sun behind him made him almost glow, and Leah was taken aback at just how beautiful he looked. She quickly turned her head, staring out at the sun.

"Yeah, and I mean, it's not like she ignores me. It's just… I always expected more."

"More?" Leah still didn't turn her head.

"Yeah. I mean, from what I've heard about imprinting, I always expected there to be some sort of… monumental shift, you know? I always figured it would allow me to see the world in different light. I always thought I would have one person to love me forever."

"That's not what it's like?" Leah asked. Jacob sighed, lying down. Leah lay down next to him, their heads inches apart.

"Yeah. It is. That's the thing. I never thought much of imprinting, you know that. And I still don't. You don't… you don't understand what it's like, Leah. Right now, being with you? It's just… it's not enough. I like spending time with you, and I like spending time with Seth and all the others, but it's like I had been eating unsweetened chocolate and suddenly I was introduced to sugar. Everything pales in comparison to her. I can't be away from her. And even though I've had a lot of fun today, the whole time she was always there, in the back of my mind. I wondered if she was okay, if she was having fun, if she was thinking about me. I'm thinking about her now. I'm _always _thinking about her. It just seems like the whole imprinting situation is more one-sided in my situation then in anyone else's."

Leah was quiet, staring up into the sky, watching the different colours blend in to each other- pink, purple, orange, blue, red. She watched the sky until tears filled her eyes from not blinking, and then she closed them, concentrating on the blackness.

"Isn't that what love is?"

Jacob laughed without humour. "I don't know. I've been in love with one person- Bella. And maybe that wasn't love. Maybe that was just… desire."

Leah bit back her comment about Bella Cullen and how there was really nothing to desire about her. Leah had seen her naked, after all. No matter how hard she tried to block that picture from her mind.

"So is imprinting love? Or is love what you felt towards Bella?"

Jacob was silent for so long that Leah opened her eyes and looked at him. He was staring right back at her.

"I don't really know. I don't know what love is."

Leah hastily looked away. "Maybe it was neither."

"What?"

She sucked in a breath. "I mean, maybe neither of those feelings were love. Maybe Bella was just normal, adolescent lust, you know? And as for Renesmee…" It was the first time Leah had used her actual name. "I don't know what that is. Some weird wolfy curse, I guess. But how can that sort of warped worship be love?"

Jacob let out a sigh that was laced with what Leah thought must be impatience and possibly pain.

"I don't know," was all he said.

Leah buried her fingers in the sand. It was cool underneath the top layer, and she ran it through her fingers.

"If that's love, I want no part of it."

"You have no choice," Jacob told her. "Once it grabs hold, it holds on tight, so you can't get away. It's like you're trapped in the coils of a snake. You can't get out, and the harder you fight, the tighter it squeezes. You can't get out."

Leah thought of Sam, thought of his eyes and the way he used to look at her. Then she thought of his eyes when he looked at Emily as she walked down the aisle, and her chest tightened.

"Have you tried? Have you even fought?" Leah's voice came out angrier then she had intended, and she took a deep calming breath, reminding herself that Jacob wasn't Sam. Jacob's imprinting hadn't hurt her in any way. She had had no claim to him.

Had she?

"No," he told her, his voice breathy.

"Why not?" She asked, working hard to keep her voice level.

"I guess… I guess I just haven't found someone who would make me want to fight against it."

For some reason, all the air left Leah's lungs and she suddenly coughed, gasping for breath, pounding at her chest as she sat up and tried not to hack out a lung. Jacob sat up abruptly, his voice worried, as he pounded Leah's back.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

She nodded, clearing her throat.

"I need to stop smoking," was all she said, but she wouldn't look him in the face when she said it.

He sat forward, playing with the sand in front of him. Leah looked back out at the sun. It was almost completely gone now. When she had been younger, her and Sam would sit on the cliff and watch the sunset, their legs dangling over the edge. She could still remember the feeling she felt, watching as her legs dangled over the rocks, the tight knot of fear in her stomach as she thought of falling off and crashing onto those rocks below. She could still feel Sam's arm around her, tightly, pulling her against him, promising he wouldn't let her fall.

Leah felt her lungs constrict. She slowly counted backwards from twenty-five, concentrating on breathing. When she was done, she said,

"Well, what's the problem then?"

Jake looked up from his sandcastle.

"Pardon?"

"If you haven't found someone to fight for-" she ignored the tightening in her throat- "then what's the problem?"

Jacob shrugged, knocking his sandcastle down with a quick wave of his hand.

"Nessie, she doesn't… it's as if I only served one purpose, and now that she's met other people- Nahuel, his sister's, other vampires- it's like she doesn't need me anymore. But… I still need her."

Leah was quiet. She thought of Sam, of Seth, of her mother. She thought of how they all turned to different people when they were searching for help. She thought of herself sitting on her couch, watching _Press Your Luck_ and laughing at their outfits while people were out there in the world, proving a purpose.

"It's not so bad," she whispered. "Not being needed. You get used to it. Eventually, you learn to like it."

Jacob didn't pipe up, didn't come to her defence, didn't wrap an arm around and promise her he wouldn't let her fall, didn't tell her that he needed her, if no one else did. She tried to tell herself she hadn't expected him to, anyway. Instead, he just asked,

"Do you ever get lonely?"

She thought of herself, of sitting on her couch with a bowl of cereal in front of her, shouting along with the television- _big money big money big money, no whammy no whammy no whammy!_

"No," she said. Jacob nodded, and Leah buried her hands in the sand once again so that Jacob couldn't see her clenched fists and wondered if he knew she was lying.


	4. In Which Leah Eats a lot of Cereal

**Bloobleebahh.**

**By the way, that totally actually happened in Family Feud. I was like, OH EM EFF GEE. O.o**

* * *

"What's something that gets hard when it gets colder?"

"Nipples!"

Leah nearly spit out her cereal. She stared at the television in horror as the number four panel flipped over to reveal the word _nipples._

"Honestly, people these days…" She muttered to herself.

"First sign of insanity is when you begin to talk to yourself," came a voice from behind her, and Leah spun her head around so quickly she nearly gave herself whiplash. When she saw who it was, she sighed, turning back to the screen.

"And the first sign of intense creepiness is walking into other people's houses uninvited. Didn't my mother lock the door?"

Jacob shrugged. "There's a spare key buried in your flower pot."

Leah turned her head to stare at him again. "You're a fucking stalker."

"Stalkers are people who creep around without the person their stalking finding out. I'm standing right in your line of vision. Plus, stalkers usually end up killing the people they're obsessed with. Mind you, I might end up killing you someday. But not because of an obsession."

Leah just shook her head and turned her attention to the television again, drawing her legs up under her. Jacob sat down beside her.

"I thought you didn't watch _Family Feud?_"

She shrugged. _"Press Your Luck_ wasn't on."

He squinted at the screen. "Does that say _nipples?"_

"Yep."

"What was the question?"

"'Things that get hard when it gets cold.'"

Jacob grinned. He sat back, putting his feet on her table. Leah shot him a look.

"I'm sorry, did I invite you into my house?"

"Do you ever?"

"I shudder to ask, but where's the demon child?"

"At home. With Nahuel."

Leah turned her head. He was paying attention to the T.V.

"Name a decision you make as a young adult that changes your life."

"Where you go to school!" Came the answer from the screen.

"Imprinting on your best friends child?" Jacob suggested. Leah smiled slightly.

"Naw. How about imprinting on your girlfriend's cousin?"

Jacob smiled. "Falling in love with a vampire?"

"She wasn't a vampire when you met her."

Jacob shrugged, as if this was just a technicality.

"So what is she doing? How come you're not over there?"

Jacob played with a loose thread on the couch. He didn't answer.

"Jake?"

"I was. Over there, I mean."

"And…?"

"I mean, she didn't completely kick me out or anything. And she wasn't outright hostile. I could just…"

"Tell."

"Yeah."

Leah thought back to the last few months of her relationship with Sam. How his smile never reached his eyes when he saw her- how he never held her as tightly. How their conversations were detached and mostly one sided.

"So, I left. I figured, why should I be there when she didn't want me there?"

Leah thought about last night, about lying in the sand with him. Thought about him saying, _I guess I just haven't found someone who would make me want to fight against it._

"Glad to hear I'm your second choice," she said, but for some reason she had to work extra hard to work the sarcasm into the sentence.

"You weren't. Everyone else was busy," he joked. When she didn't respond, he nudged her with his shoulder. "Come on, I was just kidding."

_It's not so bad. Not being needed. You get used to it. Eventually, you learn to like it._

"I'm hungry," Leah said, sitting up and grabbing her bowl. "Do you want some cereal?"

Jacob glanced at the clock.

"It's two-o'-clock!"

"And?"

Jacob shrugged. "Sure."

Leah brought them both in a bowl of Corn Flakes and set it in front of him. He dug in happily.

"Fanks," he said, his mouth full. Leah nodded.

"Name the age when most girls start wearing makeup."

"Fifteen," came the answer. Leah snorted.

"Dumbass."

"Leah?"

"Yeah?"

"Did I offend you, last night?"

Leah thought back to everything they had said. Offended? No, she hadn't been offended. Truthfully, Leah had no idea what she'd been.

"No, you didn't offend me."

"Good. And since you're probably lying, I'm sorry."

Leah rolled her eyes, but she was a little unhinged. Jacob Black really knew too much about her. She wondered when that had happened.

"Were you lying?" Jacob asked quietly. Leah looked down at her empty cereal bowl.

"More cereal," she announced, getting up and padding over to the kitchen. Jacob sighed and followed her.

"Leah, you can't hide your feelings behind cereal," he told her seriously as she poured herself a bowl of Corn Pops.

_Watch me, _she thought.

"Leah, seriously. I realise I've been a little self-involved recently, so tell me… what's up with you?"

Leah turned around to face him. He was leaning against the stove, looking at her seriously. Leah sighed.

"Alright. Alright. I'll tell you. I'm secretly a transvestite, but I can't tell my family because they'll be ashamed of me. I'm addicted to heroine, but I can't afford it, so I drown my sorrows in the bottle. And while everyone thinks its Sam I'm pining after, it's not. You see, I'm really in love with Emily. It's a hard life I live."

Jacob gave her a long look. Then he threw his hands up in the air. "Why do I bother?" He asked nobody in particular.

"Jacob, I don't have any problems. No new ones, anyway. It's still the same old hardships, which I handle with a strong hand and a smile."

"Oh yeah, you handle it with such grace."

Leah turned back around and ate a mouthful of cereal.

Jacob and Leah sat on her couch for another two and a half hours, watching _Family Feud, _and then _An Officer and a Gentleman, _which Jacob accidentally flipped to and Leah wouldn't let him change it.

"You can't skip over _An Officer and a Gentleman!_ It's one of those movies you can't skip over."

"And what movies would those be?" Jacob asked in amusement. Leah immediately listed off a bunch.

"_Pretty Women, Grease, Dirty Dancing, The Way We Were."_

"I see," was all Jacob said, even though he had never seen any of those movies. He wasn't about to tell Leah that, though. So he just sat there in silence.

"'Way to go, Paula!'" Leah quoted as the movie was finally coming to an end. Jacob snorted. He had never figured Leah would be the type of person to be quoting romantic movies.

"You're getting soft, Leah," he told her, as Richard Gere scooped the girl up and walked out. Leah glared at him.

"Emily made me watch this movie about seventeen million times. I had to learn to love it to survive."

Jacob could see it in her eyes that she was lying, though. He could see that, no matter what he told himself, he had a hell of a lot more to learn about Leah Clearwater. Which is why it pissed him off so much that she seemed to be able to see right through him.

At that moment, the door opened and Seth walked in, his hand resting on the back of who they both recognized to be Becky.

"Oh. You guys are here," Seth said, his face falling. Leah turned around and then jumped over the back of the couch, so she was facing them.

"Yes, we're here. Why are _you _here, alone, with a girl?" She said, and Jacob put a hand on her arm.

"Leah, simmer down," he said quietly. Leah glanced down at his hand on her arm and then back up at Seth.

"I'm not alone. You and Jacob are here," Seth said. Leah had never seen him so defiant.

"What if we weren't here?" She asked him. Seth glared at her. Just at that moment, however, Becky cut in:

"_An Officer and a Gentleman!_ I love that movie! 'Way to go, Paula! Way to go!' God, this movie is right up there, along with _Grease _and _Pretty Woman._"

Leah looked back at the television. Then she looked at Jacob.

"I like her."

Jacob looked at Becky, new respect gleaming in his eyes.

"Alert the damn press, Leah Clearwater actually likes someone. Seth, you have no choice but to marry her, now."

Seth made an odd sound in the back of his throat. "I'm sorry. This is exactly why I didn't want you to come in."

Jacob walked towards Becky. Seth tightened his grip on her. Leah watched as she raised her head, smiling up at Seth, her eyes bright. Leah recognized those eyes. They were what her eyes had looked like when she had looked at Sam, before everything happened. Seth squeezed her to his side. She smiled again, wide. Leah felt something stir in her stomach, a feeling, almost foreboding. But she set it aside.

"Relax, Seth, I don't bite." Leah let out a snort of laughter from behind them. Seth closed his eyes. "Hi, I'm Jacob Black," he said sticking out his hand. "And that bitter harpy behind me is Leah Clearwater, Seth's sister."

"I'm not a bitter harpy. I just have a tough exterior you have to work hard to get through before you can reach my warm, tender heart."

"And then, once you do reach her warm, tender heart, she'll eat you."

"I can't see why anyone would want to take a bite out of you, Jake, and I certainly don't."

Jake winked at Becky. "She dreams about me naked."

Leah snorted again. "I've seen you naked, Jacob. There's not much to look at."

Becky watched this exchange with curious eyes. Finally, she asked, "Are you two going out?"

This was answered by a loud bout of laughter on Leah's part and a mischievous grin on Jacob's.

"She only wishes."

"Am I that transparent? I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby." **[A/N: Ten points to whoever can name this movie!]**

"Ooh!" Becky exclaimed. "I love that movie too!"

Leah looked at Seth this time. "She's a keeper, Seth. She's much better then that girl from Forks, you remember, right Jake?"

"Oh yeah! The one with the braces, who always wore the Happy Bunny shirts? Who always said she was going to take over the world?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Jesus, I forgot about her. What were you thinking, Seth?"

"And with that, we're leaving," Seth said, taking Becky by the hand and steering her out the front door. Jacob and Leah exchanged a glance.

"Do you think we scared her off?" Jacob asked her. Leah shrugged.

"Naw. We were pretty tame, I thought."

Jacob laughed and Leah smiled and then a silence that could only be described as awkward settled on them.

"I think it's been long enough. Why don't you go back, Jake?"

Jacob looked at her. "My loyalties lie with my pack. I have every right to be here with you, Leah. I want to be here with you."

She stared at the screen. Another movie was coming up next, one Leah hadn't heard of before.

"You don't have to pretend for me, Jacob," she said quietly. Jacob looked up at the ceiling. Then he glanced at the door.

"Thanks, Leah," she said quietly, squeezing her arm as he passed her. He stopped at the door, turning back. "I don't suppose you'd be interested in joining me?"

She laughed without humour. "No."

Jacob lightly touched her fingers. A spark flew up Leah's arm and she pulled away abruptly. Then he left.

Leah stared after him for a long time. She remembered Sam doing the same thing, walking out the front door, after he said something almost just like what Leah had just said- _I can't pretend anymore, Leah._ Then he had left, into the arms of her cousin, just like Jacob had just left, into the arms of his stupid little imprint, leaving Leah behind, wondering just what it was about her that made it so easy to leave.


	5. In Which Seth has Terrible Fashion Sense

**A tale of woe- I was listening to the radio and it was like, 'it's been really cold these past few days, but we've got something to look forward to- on Sunday, expect highs of minus eight!' O.o**

**I know I bitch a lot about the weather. I really don't hate it as much as it seems. **

**

* * *

**

Leah woke up far before she was ready because of the bright sunlight shining on her face. She blinked, moaned, and then hid her head under the covers.

Her desperate attempts to fall back asleep were thwarted, however, when Seth came barging into her room, without knocking.

"I could have been changing."

"Before eleven? I'm surprised you're even up."

She groaned, turning over onto her stomach.

"What do you want, Seth?"

"Does this match?"

Leah looked up from her pillow.

"What?"

"What I'm wearing. Does it match?"

Leah took a long, good look at her brother. Then she burst out laughing.

For one, he was wearing green pants. Leah didn't know where Seth had found green pants, but she didn't want to know. His shirt was a bright yellow, and his collar was popped.

"Well, you match, Seth. But you look terrible."

His face fell. "Really?"

"Who told you to wear that?"

"Embry."

"And you listened?"

Seth shrugged.

"Go put on a pair of jeans."

"Can I keep the shirt?"

Leah considered. "Fold your collar. And then fix your hair. And then come back in here."

He did all this. Leah approved his look, but stopped him before he went out the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Lunch date," he muttered.

"With… Bianca?" Leah full well knew her name

"Becky," he corrected automatically. Leah smiled slightly.

"Seth, do you even know how to act on a date? And if you tell me Embry or anyone else told you, I will personally lock you in this house."

"Well, uh… I'm supposed to buy her lunch, right?"

Leah buried her head in her pillow. "Just go, Seth. Helpless cases cannot be helped."

Seth grinned. "Bye Leah!"

Leah shook her head, buried her head into her pillow, and tried to go back to sleep, before a sudden weight on her bed told her someone was there.

"What part of _sleeping in_ don't you people understand!?" She shrieked. She lifted her head and saw Jacob sitting there, looking amused.

"'Helpless cases cannot be helped,'" he quoted, smiling. "Those are some great words of wisdom."

"Shut up, Jacob, and get out of my room."

"We're going out."

"Says who?"

"Me."

Leah buried deeper into her pillow, so that Jacob's voice was muffled.

"Come on Leah, get up."

"No. Screw you."

Jacob's hands were suddenly on her shoulders, hauling her up. Leah wondered why Jacob's touch burned so much.

"Where are we even going?" Leah asked as Jacob hauled her up. She slumped down, using her whole body weight, but Jake lifted her up easily regardless.

"Out."

"Yes, you've mentioned. Where?"

"It's a surprise," he told her, but the way he said it made Leah straighten up and look at him.

"You're taking me to their house, aren't you?"

Jacob was silent.

"Jacob!" Leah cried, glaring at him. "I'm not going."

"Come on, Leah! Please?"

"I went before, and in case you don't remember, you ignored me the whole time. I'm not going."

"They're making lunch."

_"They don't eat!"_

"Exactly! I already told them you were coming. Esme's excited."

"Why would you tell them I was already coming, Jacob?"

"Because."

"Not a good answer. Now get the hell out and let me go back to sleep."

"Please, Leah?" His voice was pleading. Leah opened one eye.

"Why?"

"Just come, Leah."

Slowly, Leah's brain started working. The gears began to turn, and she sat up to stare at Jacob in disgust.

"You want to use me to make her jealous, don't you?" She said quietly, her voice deadly. Jacob didn't deny it. He just stared at her wall.

"You fucking bastard! How could you think I would be okay with that?"

He still didn't answer, but his shoulders slumped in shame.

"That's it- you knew I wouldn't be okay with it! That's why you didn't ask!"

"Leah, that's not-"

"Don't try to deny it! You fucking bastard! I can't believe you! It's not my goddamn fault your stupid little demon spawn has grown sick of you! It's not my fault she'd rather be with the other demon spawn then with you! It's not my fault, and guess what, I don't give a shit! She's _your_ problem, Jacob."

Jacob's face had changed quickly from ashamed to contorted in anger. His nostrils flared, and Leah stood up, her fists clenched, ready to phase quickly for a fight.

"Don't talk about her like that!" He shouted.

"Like what? Like she's a mutant, a half-breed, a monster?"

"She's no more of a monster then you, Leah!" He shouted at her.

"News flash, dumbass- if I'm a monster, you're a monster!"

Jacob's lip curled upwards in a snarl, and he spat out his next words.

"You're more of a monster then I am, Leah. At least I'm not a bitter bitch, at least people like spending time with me, at least I'm not a genetic dead end. Is that why you haven't imprinted yet, Leah? It's not because it's _rare, _it's because you're going no where in life. You're _stuck._"

Leah froze, her eyes widening. Had it been anyone else, she would have phased and ripped out their throats. She would have killed him. But it wasn't anyone else, it was Jacob. It was her Alpha. It was her _friend_. So instead she just stood there, staring at him, while Jacob's face returned to normal and then, just as quickly, changed to horrified.

"Leah- Leah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

Leah was clenching her fists so tightly that little half crescent pools of blood were being carved into her palms.

"Leah, I'm sorry, that was horrible, I should have never… it's not true, Leah, I shouldn't have…"

But it _was_ true.

"Leah? Leah please…"

"Get out of my house, Jacob."

Her voice was calm, low. Normal. But Jacob, Jacob who had spent so much time with her, Jacob, who had made her laugh more then anyone, Jacob, who actually enjoyed spending time with her, Jacob, who knew her better then anyone, could sense the wall Leah always threw up when her emotions were getting out of hand. Jacob could tell she was hurt, and that she was hiding her feelings. Jacob could tell he had gone too far.

"Leah, please-"

"Out."

"Leah…"

"Get out of my fucking house, Jacob Black!" She shrieked, and Jacob ducked just in time as Leah threw a picture frame at him. Backing up, Jacob threw his hands up, escaping out the door and running down the steps. Leah resisted the urge to follow him and make him pay.

Leah hadn't cried in years. She hadn't cried when her father died, hadn't cried when Sam left her- if she could remember correctly, the last time she had cried had been when she had broken her leg when she was eleven years old. She hadn't cried in years, and she didn't plan on breaking that. One rogue tear slipped past her barrier, before she wiped it away and stood up.

She didn't know where she was going. All she knew was that she couldn't be there. So Leah walked out her door, ran to the forest, phased (ruining yet another outfit) and ran.

She ran for a long time. She had always been the fastest, and she used that to her advantage. Leah ran far, not paying attention to state lines, she ran until finally she had to stop running. She plopped down onto the floor, the setting sun setting the world on fire. Leah wondered where she was.

She tried not to think about what Jacob had said. She tried, and she failed. She ran over everything he said, over and over, while her anger ebbed away, just like the sunlight. _At least I'm not a bitter bitch. _Well, there was no denying that. Leah was a bitter bitch. She had been told that countless times. She knew it. Jacob was just saying what tons of other people had said numerous amounts of times. _At least people like spending time with me. _She thought of Jacob, of his smile and his kind eyes and his laughter, thought of how easy it was to talk to him. Then she thought of herself, of her shield, never letting anyone in, and the way her gaze was so unsettling. And then, the most painful- _at least I'm not a genetic dead end. _His words had been cruel, but true. Leah _was _a genetic dead end. Jacob and his stupid vampire imprint were going to have lots and lots of babies, just like Sam and Emily and Jared and Kim and Paul and Rachel and Quil and Claire. There were going to have lots and lots of babies and Leah was going to sit there and watch them.

_You're stuck. _That was true, too. Leah had run for hours, and she could run for hours on top of that, and she would still be stuck. There was nothing left for her.

Leah wondered just what it was about Jacob Black that made it so that she made excuses for him. Anyone else would have been dead by now.

By the time the sun had fully set, Leah wasn't angry anymore. She was just depressed. Suddenly feeling very tired, she closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep.

Sleep wouldn't come, though. So Leah started back home. Wherever that was, anyway. Leah thought about what Nahuel had said. _I think that home can be defined as a place, or an object, or a person. A person who makes you feel like you belong, a person who makes you feel safe, comforted. What is it they say?_ _Home is where your heart is?_

Leah had learned long ago that giving your heart away to someone made you weak, made you broken. So where was her home?

xxx.

"Where have you been!?" Was what Sue said as soon as Leah came through the door. Leah rubbed her eyes. Damn, she was tired.

"I'm not really sure," she answered, yawning. Sue looked a mess.

"Leah, you can't just take off like that!" Sue scolded. Leah looked at her mother tiredly.

"Mom, what's going to hurt me? I'm a goddamn _werewolf."_

Sue pursed her lips. "It doesn't _matter, _Leah. The point is you left without telling anybody. You could have been anywhere!"

Leah let her head rest in her hands. "It doesn't matter, mom. I'm home now."

"And you will be home from now on!"

Leah looked up, smirking. "Are you _grounding _me, mother?"

Sue realised there was no way Leah would ever go for this. "No, I'm not. I'm just asking you, please- next time you run off, tell me. And tell me where you're going."

"I never know where I'm going, mom."

"Then tell me what direction! Please, Leah."

Leah looked at her mother. Her eyes were red, her hair was a mess, and her lips were drawn tight. She thought of everything her mother had gone through. Then she nodded.

"Alright mom. I'm sorry. I won't run off again."

Sue nodded. She opened her mouth, as if she wanted to say something else, but she stopped herself.

"I'd better go find Seth…"

"Where is he?"

Sue gave her a long look, as if trying to force guilt onto her.

"He's out looking for you. He was very worried, you know."

Leah rolled her eyes.

"I'm pretty sure Seth will be okay, mom."

"Still. I don't like him being out there at night…"

Leah barked out a laugh. She would never understand how her mother could still be so worried about them when they were the scariest things out there.

"What are you laughing at?" Sue asked her.

"Does the bogeyman's mom worry when he's hiding underneath beds?"

Sue gave her a look that clearly showed she was questioning her daughter's sanity.

"I beg your pardon?"

Leah just shook her head. "Never mind."

Sue crossed the kitchen, placing a hand on Leah's shoulder and a kiss on her forehead. "Yes, she does. Because it's a mom's job to worry."

Leah watched her mother walk out the door. She thought of her mother's words, _it's a mom's job to worry._ Then she thought of Jacob's words. _At least I'm not a genetic dead end. _Then she poured herself a bowl of cereal.

She was just washing her bowl in the sink when someone knocked on the door. She rolled her eyes. Her mother must have forgotten her key again. She wondered if she had found Seth. Probably not. Great. That meant Leah would have to console her while she worried.

With a sigh, Leah padded towards the front door, already working up to her speech.

"I'm sure Seth's fine, mom-"

Leah stopped, though, when she caught sight of who was at her door.

Jacob Black was standing there, soaking wet from the rain. He was fully clothed, for once, but his feet were bare. Leah stopped. She got ready to kick him out, to yell, to scream, to hurt him. His hair was hanging down into his eyes- and that was what stopped Leah cold. His eyes.

They were wide, and black, and Leah could see the reflection of herself in them, could see her standing there holding the door. They were haunted, detached, and Leah saw something familiar in them- they were like her eyes, when she let her guard down. Her eyes, when she looked in the mirror and tried to find something wrong with herself, something that would explain why all these bad things were happening to her.

"Jacob…?"

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**DUNDUNDUN! **


	6. In Which Nessie is a Bitch

**HAI GAIZ!**

**I would just like to extend a super big thanks to all of you who have reviewed so far- you really don't know how happy it maes me checking my email an seeing all those notifications. I get a big goofy smile on my face. Thank you!**

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"Jacob, what the hell are you doing here?" Leah asked, her eyes wide. He just stared at her, his hair hanging down into his eyes, and for some reason Leah felt fear grip her heart.

"Jacob, _what is the matter?_ You're scaring me, what is wrong!?"

He pushed past her and into the house, dripping wet all over the floor, but Leah just closed the door and looked at him.

"If you don't tell me what's wrong, right now, I will kick you out of the house. Don't think I can't do it, Jacob Black. I can, and I will."

Jacob collapsed onto the couch. Leah went and stood in front of him.

"Please. Jacob. Tell me what's wrong."

It didn't matter that hours ago he had said the nastiest things Leah could imagine to him. It didn't matter that he had driven her out of her town, had caused her to run far away so she was forced to find her own way back. It didn't matter, because the look on Jacob's face made her forget about all her problems.

Jacob looked up at her and whispered something, so quietly Leah had to sit down next to him and lean in close to hear.

"She doesn't love me."

Leah felt a little bubble of anger start in her stomach. So this was about the demon spawn. Of course. It was _always _about the demon spawn. But Leah squashed the anger (and… disappointment?) down and rested a hand on his arm.

"That's ridiculous. She's your imprint. Of course she loves you."

Jacob just shook his head. "She doesn't. She doesn't love me. Not anymore. It's like I've been… replaced. Like I've served my purpose."

"What are you talking about, Jacob?" Leah asked, adjusting herself so she was kneeling beside him. "She loves you. The bond between a wolf and their imprint is sacred. It can't be broken." Leah tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice, but she didn't think she had succeeded.

"You don't understand… the way she looked at me today… she looked at me as if I was some unwanted admirer. And then Nahuel looked out from behind her and she said, 'what are you doing here, Jacob?' And I… I felt like yelling, like screaming, but I _couldn't,_ I couldn't, because even though she had hurt me so much I couldn't yell at her because I was afraid I would hurt her _feelings_. And she just stared at me like I was gum on her shoe, and _goddamnit _Leah, it's not supposed to be like this! It's supposed to be _forever!_"

Leah just stared at him, but he wasn't done.

"I look at Sam and Emily and Paul and Rachel and Jared and Kim and I see what it's supposed to be like, there's supposed to be a bond, a connection! She's taken my heart, why haven't I taken hers?"

Leah looked at him for a moment, and then she took his hand. She tried to say her next words as kindly as possible, but Leah wasn't very good at kind.

"Maybe it's because her heart's gone cold."

Jacob looked at her, right in the eyes. Then he whispered, "It's not supposed to be like this." Suddenly Leah was all too aware of his hand in hers and their close proximity. And then he kissed her.

For a moment, Leah was frozen. She just stood there while Jacob's lips pressed to hers, the heat spreading through her, and then suddenly she was alive and kissing him back and for the life of her she couldn't figure out _why. _But she hardly had time to think about it because her hands went to his hair and she pushed him back against the arm chair of the couch and his hands went to her back, rubbing slow, soothing circles. Leah felt her lips part and as the kiss deepened she knew that she had to stop now, pull away, because this had to stop before it went too far. But for the life of her she couldn't bring herself to tear away from Jacob Black's lips, so she took his bottom lip between her teeth and they were done for.

Jacob lifted her up with ease and she wrapped her legs around his waist, hoisting herself up on his waist, never breaking their kiss. He bumped into the old armchair once before manoeuvring around it, and then suddenly Leah's back was up against her bedroom door and Jacob's hand was frantically searching for the doorknob and then they were tumbling through to the other side, while Jacob shut the door with his foot and they collapsed awkwardly onto the bed, never breaking the kiss, until finally Leah felt like her lungs were about to explode from lack of air and she tore away, gulping in great breaths. She tried to catch Jacob's eye but he wasn't looking at her- he was kissing her neck, sucking and nipping the skin there.

Leah tried to remember the last time she had been touched like this, the last time she had felt someone else's body on top of hers. It had been Sam- only Sam. But all thoughts of Sam were immediately taken away when Jacob claimed her lips with his again.

Leah's hands flew up Jacob's shirt and pushed it up, over his head, their kiss breaking briefly. Leah wondered why Jacob had chosen _now_ to dress properly. Jacob trailed kisses down her collarbone and over her throat, his hands hiking up her shirt, burning her skin where they touched. Jacob pulled her shirt up over her head and threw it to the floor, one lone shirt ruining her otherwise spotless room.

"You're cleaning that up," she mumbled, as Jacob kissed down his throat, between her breasts, all the way to her naval and then up again, finishing at her lips. His hands travelled up her sides and then around her back. Leah arched up as he fumbled with the clasp of her bra. And fumbled. And fumbled.

"Fuck, I'll do it," she said, reaching around and undoing it with one smooth motion. Jacob threw that across the room, too, before ducking his head and placing his lips around one hardened nipple. Leah gasped, arching her back, while his hand favoured the other one. Leah let out a low moan in the back of her throat while his teeth nipped and his tongue flicked and his other hand made its way down her body, stopping between her legs. Leah could feel the intense warmth of his body even through two layers of fabric.

Sam stopped making love to her after he had phased, so Leah had never experienced the intense heat, but she was certain Jacob's touch had never been _this_ hot, had never left trails of fire burning on her skin wherever skin met skin.

Jacob came up to kiss her again and Leah's hands went to his belt (a _belt?_ Jacob had never worn a belt before. Was he _trying_ to make this hard for her?) and then he was laying on top of her in boxer shorts and his hands pulled her sweat pants down and she kicked them off of herself so that they lay at the bottom of the bed, forgotten, and his hands were everywhere, and they pressed so tightly together so that she could feel all of him, everywhere, but there was still too much fabric between them and she had made a movement to slip his boxers off when his hand slipped underneath her underwear and a jolt of pleasure shot through her, so powerful that her hands gripped the sheets of her bed and Jacob slipped one finger into her and Leah let out a sound in the back of her throat that could only be described as a growl.

"Jake," she gasped out as he slid another finger in and she bit her lip to stop from screaming out because who knew when her mother and Seth would be home, and wouldn't that be awkward? Jacob's fingers moved in and out of her, and Leah was biting her lip so hard she could taste blood. Leah tried to say something, anything, but all that came out was a sound she had never heard herself make as Jacob's lips started nipping at her neck.

"Seth," she began, and she expected him to pop his head up, asking her why she was calling out her brother's name, but he didn't, so she continued, "He'll be home soon. And my mom."

Jacob didn't talk. He didn't look at her, either, didn't meet her eyes, just pressed himself up against her thigh while Leah's fingers scraped his back. She wondered why he was being so unresponsive. She wondered why it seemed she was enjoying this far more then he was. Then he slid into her, and Leah couldn't really wonder at anything anymore.

Jacob and her… they _fit_. That was the only word for it. Leah could remember the first awkward time she had made love to Sam. She could remember his sloppy kisses, the pain that shot through her when he entered, the way they couldn't get the rhythm right and how he came, extravagantly, long before she was ready. But with Jacob, they slid into a rhythm so smooth, almost like a melody, and Jacob nibbled her ear while they moved together, moved together, their speed increasing, and Leah found herself chanting Jacob's name like a mantra while he stayed silent, ever silent, his lips making their way to hers. Leah was sure she must be hurting him with her nails, but Jacob never made a sound, just the occasional grunt, barely audible over her own noises of pleasure. Leah was standing on the edge of a cliff, her toes gripping the edge, and all she needed was one last-

Jacob pushed her, hard, and Leah fell, Jacob's name leaving her lips again and again.

Afterwards, Leah lay there for a long time, listening to Jacob's irregular breathing beside her. Her heart was beating fast, and she waited for him to say something, anything. She listened as his breathing evened out, but he was still quiet. Leah lay there for so long, waiting for him to say something, that she eventually fell asleep.

xxx.

When Leah woke up, she was alone. She was still naked, but a blanket was thrown over her body. She sat up, the blanket falling off her body. If it weren't for the fact that she was still naked and that the memories from last night were fresh in her mind, Leah might have thought that nothing had happened. She glanced down at her floor. The shirt Jacob had casually thrown there was gone, as was her bra, her sweatpants, and her underwear. She got up and padded over to her laundry hamper, where they all were, sitting atop her other dirty laundry. She let out a sigh, collapsing against the wall. At least the boy cleaned up after himself.

She rested her head on her knees. She was so _stupid_. How could she have let Jacob Black get to her like that? How could she let _anybody _get to her like that? After Sam had left, Leah had promised herself that she would never trust a man again. And she hadn't. She had kept her heart locked up tight. She ran her hands up her calves, wondering just where exactly Jacob Black had found the key. She remembered his words from a couple days ago. _There's a spare key buried in your flower pot._

She stopped, blinking at her own realization. Did Jacob Black have her heart, then? Had Leah broken her only rule over the years? Was she actually that much of a dumbass?

She thought about his eyes and his smile and the way he made her laugh. She thought about how he sat with her and watched television, how he wasn't afraid of her, how he treated her like a friend. She thought of how much it hurt to watch him with Renesmee, and how much it hurt even more watching just what the stupid little monster had done to him. She thought of Nahuel's words, about home. And then she banged her head on the wall, repeatedly, until her head began to hurt.

She _was_ a dumbass.

A dumbass who was sitting on her bedroom floor, naked and feeling sorry for herself.

Leah quickly got up, rummaging around in her drawers for something to wear. She settled on a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt of her father's. She made her bed and then left her bedroom, masking her face into its regular hard, emotionless state. Seth was at the counter, eating toast, when she entered the kitchen.

"You're up early," he observed. Leah didn't meet his eye.

"What time is it?" She asked.

"Nine-thirty," Seth told her, and Leah glanced at the clock in surprise. It _was _nine-thirty. Leah hadn't woken up this early in a while.

"You don't say," was all she said.

"Hey, was Jacob over last night?" Seth asked. Leah's hand on the bowl of cereal tightened. She focused on the cabinet, fighting to keep her voice steady.

"Why?"

Seth's voice wasn't accusing, or curious. It was just indifferent. "He left his jacket," he said, and Leah turned around to see him pointing to the floor beside the couch, where Jacob's jacket lay, forgotten, on the floor. Leah couldn't even remember taking it off of him.

"Oh. Yeah. He came over for a bit."

"Do you want me to give it back? I'm going out anyway. I'm meeting Becky," he said, barely containing the smile on his face. Leah shook her head, not realizing she was doing it.

"No. I'll give it back to him," she said. She had to know if things were different now. She had to know if her suspicions were correct. Seth just shrugged. Leah ate her cereal and then grabbed the jacket, walking out of the house without even washing her bowl out.

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**I know that ending is awkward, but I had originally just kept writing until this chapter was like, super long, so I split it up into two chapters. Anywho.**

**Review!**


	7. In Which Jacob is a Bitch

**So I meant to post this on Tuesday, but my internet like, died, and my father was in Ottawa and couldn't fix it. Sorry about that!**

**Note One: If you haven't voted in the poll yet, do so. Seriously. **

**Note Two: Chapter count for this story is twelve chapters, cus honestly, I can't drag it out any longer xD  


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As she made her way to the Black's house, she tried to think of what she would say. Suddenly, she was all too aware of her father's old shirt with the paint stains and her hair, messed up and knotty, and the fact that she wasn't wearing makeup. Jesus. It was as if she was in high school again.

She was just rounding the corner to their house when she saw him, walking towards her, his head down and his hands in his pockets. Her steps faltered a bit, but she kept walking.

"Jacob," she called, and his head snapped up. When he saw her, a million different emotions passed his face, so many Leah couldn't identify any.

"Leah," he said, his voice hoarse, and Leah was surprised to hear anything from his mouth, so used to silence.

"You, uh… you forgot this," she said, holding out his jacket. He looked at it as if he had never seen it before.

"Thanks," he mumbled, taking it out of her hand, and it seemed as if he was trying extra hard not to touch her in any way.

"So, um… where are you going?" Leah asked. She couldn't remember the last time she had been like this, awkward and at a loss for words. Jacob wouldn't meet her eye.

"Oh. Nowhere… nowhere really. Just… walking."

Leah looked hard at his face. And just like she always had, she saw right through him. She involuntarily took a step back.

"You're going to see _her, _aren't you?" She asked, the words leaving a bad taste in her mouth like she had just swallowed sour milk. Jacob didn't deny it. He just looked at the ground.

"You fucking bastard," she whispered. Jacob finally looked up at her.

"Leah, I can't… I can't just _forget _her. I'm bound to her. I love her."

His words cut her, but she ignored the pricks of pain.

"An imprint is about _choice, _Jacob. She has a _choice._ She made her choice- it wasn't you. You have to _accept_ that!" She said, her voice rising steadily. Jacob just stared at her.

"How am I supposed to _accept _that? Do you know what it's like to feel this pull to someone and not have them love you back? And I'm not talking about the love you think you feel for Sam, Leah, I'm talking about _gravity._ Every force in the universe is pulling me towards her, but she's pulling away. _Do you know what that's like?"_

Leah just stared at him. "The love I _think_ I feel for Sam?"

Jacob stared at her, hard. "The only reason you feel that way is because you want to. You could have given up on that ages ago."

Leah glared at him. "Please don't tell me you actually think that, Jacob," she said, her voice low.

"It's true, Leah. You know it's true."

"Sam broke my heart!" She shrieked, pain shooting up all her limbs, through her heart, poisoning her. "I gave _everything _to him!"

"And he gave everything back. It's _your _choice not to reassemble the pieces. You seem to know a lot about choices, Leah. You should know about that one."

A million different things flashed through Leah's mind, and she couldn't decide on just one. She just stood there, her knees weak, as if they were about to give out on her.

"You're a bastard, Jacob Black. You're a fucking _asshole_. No wonder your goddamn freak of an imprint doesn't want to be with you, because you're fucking _heartless."_

Jacob let out a humourless laugh. "You would know about heartless, wouldn't you Leah?"

Leah felt her fists clench, but before she could phase and attack him, right there in the street, he shoved past her, making his way down the street. Leah just stared after him, so much anger coursing through her body she felt she might explode. She turned and ran after him.

"I'm not done with you, Jacob," she growled. He turned around.

"Are you going to fight me, Leah?" He asked, his voice filled with humour. Leah wondered when he had become this way. So bitter, unfeeling, sarcastic. So much like her.

"No, I'm not going to fight you. I'm going to rip your fucking heart out," she said, and then she lunged.

Jacob phased quickly, but not quick enough. Leah grabbed his throat between her teeth and they rolled down the road and into the forest surrounding, the cover of trees protecting them from the eyes of humans. Leah's teeth were grabbing at every inch of Jacob she could grab, trying to hurt him physically the way he had hurt her emotionally. Jacob was fighting back just as hard, though, and even though she was fastest, he was stronger then her, by leaps and bounds. His teeth grabbed her ear and she yelped, rolling away from him before jumping up, facing him, growling at him.

_You're not going to win, girly-wolf, _he said, his words mocking her. She lunged again, but this time he was ready. He jumped out of the way and then advanced on her, pinning her down and then biting her. Leah lashed out, but Jacob was bigger.

_Are you going to give up yet, Leah?_ He asked.

_Not until your dead,_ she said. She had never been this angry before. She was a little scared of it, of the way it coursed through her veins, of the way it took control, so that it could have been Jacob or Seth or Emily, and Leah would still have gone after them, ready to kill.

_And here I was, thinking Leah Clearwater wasn't afraid of anything,_ Jacob's words came, and Leah snarled at him. Jacob rolled off of her.

_Come on Leah. Lunge at me again._

She didn't take the bait this time. They circled each other, throwing the occasional insult, and then a sound from deeper in the forest made Jacob turn his head and Leah lunged. She sank her teeth into his neck, his leg, hard enough that he yelped, but Leah wasn't done. She was on top of him, now, overpowering her in a way she never thought she could have, and then suddenly a dark shape threw itself at her and she rolled around before straightening up and seeing the dark shape of Sam staring at both of them. She waited for him to say something before she remembered they were no longer connected. She hated asking something of Jacob but the silence was killing her.

_What is he saying? _

_He's yelling. Saying we could have killed each other._

_Tell him that was my goal. _

_He's not amused. He said that's not funny. _

Leah growled at Jacob one more time, snapping in his direction. Sam snarled.

_Tell him it wasn't supposed to be. And tell him to butt out of our business- it's not his pack._

_He says it's anybody's business when something gets out of hand like that._

_It wasn't out of hand. It was very much in hand. I had the upper hand._

_Like hell, Leah._

_What, upset that a girly-wolf beat you? Are you going to go and cry to your imprint now, while she wraps her arms around you and tells you it's going to be okay? Oh, that's right, you can't, because she doesn't care about you. She's probably off fucking Nahuel in super speed right now. You know, I bet you _he_ shows a little bit of emotion in bed. I mean, listen Jacob, I knew you were inexperienced and all, but that was just pitiful- _

_SHUT UP!_

Leah opened her mouth to retort, to say something equally as cutting, to hurt him more, but no words came out. She tried again, and again, until she finally realised what had happened- Jacob had used his Alpha power. He had given her a command, executed his power, and now she couldn't talk. She stared at him, her eyes conveying all the words she wanted to say. And then she ran off, ignoring Jacob's words or Sam's howl. She circled La Push, waiting for her anger to ebb away. When it didn't, she circled again. And then she headed home.

When Leah got home she went and lay down in her bed for a while, staring up at the ceiling, but all she could think about was Jacob. Jacob's lips, and Jacob's hands, and Jacob inside of her. Finally, Leah couldn't concentrate on anything except the events of last night, which she desperately did not want to think about. So she sat up and went into the living room, where she watched mindless television for a few hours.

Right before dinner time, Seth came in. He was smiling widely, his eyes glazed over, a bounce to his step that hadn't been there before. Leah stared at him.

"What the hell happened to you?" Leah asked him, twisting around so she could look at him better. He turned around when he heard her voice.

"Leah! Leah, I didn't see you there! But you'll never guess what happened!"

His voice was so excited Leah couldn't help but smiling at him. "What happened, Seth?"

Seth's smile was so huge Leah was afraid it might fall off his face. "I imprinted!"

Leah's smile immediately left her face. Seth didn't seem to notice.

"You… imprinted?" She asked wearily. Seth nodded so fiercely she was reminded of a bobble-head.

"Yeah!"

Leah's mind was busy trying to work things out, but something was clouding it over, so that she couldn't sort through all of this and realise what Seth was trying to say.

"But… how? Becky…" Seth would have imprinted at first sight. So what was he trying to say?

Seth's face scrunched up, as if he was trying to figure out a particularly hard math problem. Then the light bulb came on over his head.

"Oh! Becky? No, I didn't imprint on _Becky."_

Leah's mind still couldn't catch on to what he was saying. She was trying to figure out just how Seth had imprinted if he hadn't imprinted on Becky.

"Then what…?"

Seth smiled condescendingly at Leah, as if she was five years old and pestering him with the same question over and over.

"I imprinted on _Mallory."_

Leah looked at him as if he was speaking in another language. "Who is Mallory?"

"She lives in Forks, but she was up at the beach today with her friends and I saw her when I was walking home. She's beautiful, absolutely beautiful. But I saw her and it was like the world suddenly made sense. Like I was writing a test and I couldn't figure out the answer, but then it suddenly came to me. I imprinted on _Mallory."_

The way he said her name was as if it was the most sacred word in any language. Leah felt like she as going to be sick.

"And, well, I introduced myself to her and she kind of froze me off, and she has a boyfriend, but we're meant to be together, and I know I can convince her! So I'm going to go to Forks tomorrow and find her!"

Leah's mind finally caught up, and she clutched her stomach as a wave of nausea hit.

"Seth, but… what about _Becky?_"

Seth shrugged, as if she was no longer his problem. "We weren't meant to be together. She'll get over it. She'll find someone she was really supposed to be with and forget all about me."

Leah knew Seth wasn't saying this to be obnoxious- he was honestly ignorant. He truly believed that it wouldn't affect her.

"So you're just going to _forget _her?" Leah asked. Seth looked at her as if she had gone crazy.

"Leah. I've _imprinted."_

Another wave of nausea hit and this time Leah couldn't hold it down. She sprinted to the bathroom, retching noisily into the toilet, while Seth knocked on the door.

"Leah? Leah, are you okay?"

She threw the door opened and shoved past him, ignoring his frantic questions. She opened the door and ran out, not bothering with shoes, just running furiously, dodging cars or people or trees as she ran, not really knowing where she was going.

Finally, she couldn't run anymore. She put her hands on her knees, looking around, trying to catch her breath. She clued into where she was, finally. She was at the cliff side, looking out at the ocean.

Ignoring the rocks digging into her bare feet, she made her way to the drop. She sat down, dangling her legs over the side. She remembered when Sam had put his arm around her and told her he wouldn't let her fall. She remembered when Bella Swan jumped off the cliff and Jacob had dived in to save her. She wondered what would happen if _she_ jumped off the cliff. If anyone would jump in to save her, or if she would just float away with the current, while one day someone looked up and asked 'Where's Leah?' She wondered if anyone would miss her.

But Leah didn't jump. Instead she just lay back, her feet still dangling over the ledge. Somewhere out there, there was a human girl wondering what she had done wrong, why she had been abandoned by someone she felt had truly loved her, watching hopelessly as love left her. Somewhere out there, a werewolf boy was trying desperately to hold onto love, like a bar of slippery soap that always jumped out of your grasp, while a half vampire girl broke his heart without caring. And on the ledge of a cliff, a genetic dead end, a bitter harpy, a cynical bitch, was lying, trying not to cry for the first time in years, wondering just what she had done that she never had any love to hold onto, to try and save, even to lose.

Leah didn't jump. Not because she was afraid of the rocks and crashing waves at the bottom, but because she was afraid nobody would care enough to save her.

* * *

**FIRST, BEFORE ANYONE YELLS AT ME;**

**I know Jacob is pissy and bitchy and not very Jacob. BUT THE BOY IS CONFUSED. He's supposed to be with the Evil Mutant Spawn who isn't giving him the time of day, but he just slept with Leah. HE'S CONFUSED. He's going to be giving Leah a hard time, because he's all confuzzled in the brain. Besides, I mean, the boy threatened to kill himself if Bella didn't kiss him. He's got a dark side.**

**On a separate note, I'd like to apologize to a fictional girl named Becky. Er... sorry. And kudos to all of you who guessed it beforehand.**


	8. In Which Leah Kinda Makes a Friend

**I don't like this chapter. At all. But it's slightly necessary as filler, because Leah needs to get away. So she does. And this is what happens. I would like to just write about her and Jacob and how the make up and make out, but I can't. Because that's not what would happen. So here we have Leah running away. Run run run.

* * *

**

She didn't know when she decided she was planning on leaving, but suddenly she was up and running. She didn't even realize where her feet were taking her until she got a whiff of the smell.

Of course. All roads didn't lead to Rome. All roads led to Jacob Black.

She knocked hard on the vamps door and it was answered a second later, the brawny one (Emmett, she remembered) staring down at her.

"Yes?"

Behind him, she could hear a hushed conversation, like when her parents had fought but had tried not to let her and Seth hear.

"Where's Jacob?" She asked. Emmett just looked at her and then motioned for her to come inside.

"Jacob," he said, and it wasn't until the hushed fighting stopped that Leah realized Jacob had been the one fighting.

When Jacob came out, he looked annoyed, then curious, then apologetic.

"Leah-"

"Yes, yes, I can talk now, thank you very much."

Renesmee peeked out from behind the door and at the sight of her Leah felt a fresh bout of rage and had just enough time to wonder if she would spend her entire life angry before she burst out at Jacob again.

"Leah, I'm-"

"Happy? Are you happy now? Because you'd better be, Jacob!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You! And Sam! And Quil! And Paul! And Jared! And _Seth! _Seth, Jacob! My baby brother, he fucking _imprinted!"_

"What does that have to do with me, Leah?"

All of the vampires were gathered now, watching the exchange with eyebrows raised, but Leah was too upset to care.

"Because you're _just like them! _You're just like them and now Seth is going to be just like them and I'm the only one who has enough sense to realize that this is fucking stupid, and unfair, and not quite the little piece of heaven everybody always says it is!"

"Leah, did you say Seth… what… what are you talking about?"

"You're all the same, you're all zombies, brainwashed into thinking this is love! I'm not going to be like you, Jacob! I'm not going to hurt somebody like Sam hurt me or like you hurt me or like Seth hurt Becky, I _won't! _And I'll make sure that if somebody treats me like she treats you-" she pointed her chin at Renesmee- "I won't come crawling back to them. I'll have some _dignity._ I'll have a choice.

"You," she said, turning to the half-vampire. "From now on, I don't care. Not anymore. You can treat him like shit, you can walk all over him, you can fuck Nahuel, you can fuck Jacob, hell, you can even fuck both of them at the same time, I don't care. You do whatever your little spawny heart desires."

Bella made a sound but to Leah's surprise Edward put a hand on her arm, holding her back.

"I hope you two are fucking happy together, Jacob. Because I'm _done._" And with that, she stalked out the door, hoping Jacob recognized her speech for what is was- a goodbye.

Before she could leave, a voice calling her name stopped her in her tracks. She turned, slowly.

"What do _you_ want?"

Edward stared at her, then handed her a wad of money. "Take this."

She looked at his hand in disgust. "I don't need your money."

He rolled his eyes. "Take it."

"Why?"

"Because, wolf, you're going to leave without doing anything rational, so I'm going to help you out. This will at least pay for a hotel."

"How do you… oh. Right."

"Will you just take it?" He growled. Reluctantly, Leah took the money from his hand.

"Why?"

"Because no matter how much you like to think it, I'm not a monster. I'm not a human, but I still have some humanity left in me."

She nodded, but turned just before he went to leave.

"Leech?"

He turned his head slightly.

"What did you say to me, a few days ago, when I was over here? When I left. You said something, but I didn't hear you."

He smiled slightly. "I said, w_hen the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad."_

Leah tried to think of some of her favourite things, but the only thing she could think of was Jacob Black's lips on hers. She put the money in her mouth.

And then she phased and ran.

xxx.

Leah ran for a really long time. She ran for so long that her legs started to hurt, and normally, her wolfy legs _never_ hurt. She was in top shape. For a wolf, anyway.

But she felt the burning in her muscles and she had to stop, needed to stop. Once she stopped running, she began to notice other things, too. How hungry she was. How it was early morning. How her mouth was burning in thirst.

The thirst thing she could handle. She walked over to a small pond and started lapping up water. It was disgusting, but what else could she do? Besides, animals did this all the time in the wild. She just had to pretend she really was an animal, and not a human.

When her thirst was (somewhat) satisfied, she decided to tackle the subject of food. After her meal of pond water, she couldn't see herself hunting. She didn't want animals. She wanted… a cheeseburger. And a milkshake.

She looked at her money. It was wet from slobber. Gross. But she supposed it would dry out. Leah phased back to a human, picked up her money, and then realized.

Oh, shit. She was naked.

The words _no shoes, no shirt, no service _came to mind and she cursed loudly. Phasing back into a wolf, she ran again until she reached a little town, still sleeping in the early morning. She stayed in the shadows, not stopping until she came across a small shop. The doors were locked, of course, so she had no choice but to break in. The crash of glass made her cringe and she stood stock still, but it was still silent. She walked up and down the aisles until she found a yellow shirt in her size, a pair of jeans, and a bra. She also grabbed a large rope she could use to tie the clothes to her leg when she phased again. Then she placed a fifty and a twenty on the counter (Edward had given her _a lot _of money- she wondered if he knew she would need to do this, too) and then exited the way she came.

Slipping out into the open again, she ran into the cover of the trees and was about to phase and change her clothes when she realized just how tired she was. She supposed a little nap couldn't hurt. Besides, it wasn't like anybody was going to bother a sleeping wolf, right? She lay on top of her new clothes and her, still thick, wads of money, and then let her eyes close.

When Leah woke up, it was dark out. So much for 'little nap'.

She stretched out, feeling very much like a dog, before phasing back to a human and getting dressed in her new clothes. It felt good to put some new clothes on, and she shoved the money in her pocket and made her way into town.

She didn't know where she was, but it was a nice enough town. It was one of those towns that wouldn't have any big corporate stores- no Wal-Mart, no MacDonalds- but it was still nice enough. Leah looked around, trying to decide where she could go to eat. She finally ended up stopping at a small diner which was already filled with people.

As she sat down at a table, she caught snippets of conversation.

"Broke in…"

"Said he's only missing some jeans and a shirt…"

"They left money on the table…"

Leah gulped. Maybe this wasn't exactly the best place to come for dinner. She could feel the waitress's eyes boring into her as she came out to her table. Instead of taking her order, she started talking, instead.

"Hey there, honey. I haven't seen your face before."

"Er, no, I'm just… passing through."

The waitress stared at her. Leah fought the urge to say something sarcastic.

"I like your shirt, where did you get it?"

Fuck. This was _really _not a good idea.

"Wal-Mart."

"Really."

Leah nodded.

"Well, er, can I just have a Coke to start off?"

The waitress nodded, tight lipped. Leah fought the urge to phase and rip her eyes out. The waitress didn't come back for a few minutes. Leah was starting to get pissed off. She was a paying customer! Jesus.

Then she heard sirens. Fucking _sirens. _

"You have got to be kidding me," she mumbled under her breath.

_Maybe they're not for me, _he thought to herself. Then she laughed at herself.

_Of course they're for me. How much crime could a small town like this have, anyway? Stupid fucking waitress, jumping to conclusions. _

Leah tried not to dwell on the fact that the conclusions she had jumped to had been right.

The waitress came back out, bringing Leah's soda, a fake smile on her face. Leah jumped up.

"Listen, I got to go. Here's a five. Keep the change."

"Wait!" The waitress shouted. Leah walked towards the door, but a big, bulky man stepped in front of her.

"Frank Giovanni is a good man. You stole from him," he grunted out. Leah barked out a laugh. She couldn't believe this town. You'd have think she'd come in and raped and pillaged the whole damn place.

"Jesus Christ, I left money on the counter! Now get out of my fucking way," she said, placing a hand on his arm. He looked down, clearly puzzled at the heat. Then she pushed him away, using all her werewolf strength.

And then she started running again. Leah was getting really sick of running.

She ducked into the covers of the trees and then started taking her clothes off. She was _not_ ruining anymore clothing. She then tied the clothes around her ankle and then phased, taking off.

Leah kept running until late morning the next day. Then she stopped, in a much larger city, getting changed into her clothes and then walking to a hotel, checking in for a night. Edward had given her much more money then was necessary.

It was at that moment that Leah realized she really had nothing to do. She hadn't brought anything, other then the money Edward had given her. She stared around the empty hotel room. It was pretty standard, a bed, a chair, a television, a bathroom. It wasn't a suite (although she could probably have afforded it). She sat on the bed. It probably wasn't very comfortable to normal people standards, but Leah had slept on the forest floor countless times. It was a bed. It was fine with her.

She tucked her room key into her pocket and then walked out, making her way down to the lobby. She walked out the back, sitting down in a chair that was pretty uncomfortable, and stared up at the sky for a while. She wondered if anyone missed her. She wondered if anyone even knew she was gone. She wondered if-

"Excuse me, miss? Are you tired?"

Leah looked up to see a boy who couldn't have been more then twelve standing in front of her. He wore glasses that kept sliding down his nose and a shirt that said 'Talk nerdy to me.' She gave him a fierce glare.

"I swear to god, if you give me some cheesy pickup line, I will feed you to the wolves."

He immediately stopped talking. Leah smirked. When he didn't immediately leave, she glanced up at him again.

"You're dismissed." Instead of leaving, he sat down next to her.

"I'm Roger."

"Seriously?" She asked. He smiled.

"And you are?"

"Maria Van den Shooft."

"Sweet. Are you Dutch?"

Leah brought a hand up to run it through her short, choppy hair. Then she turned away.

"Hey listen, I'm only trying to make friends. I'm here with my parents for some convention that has to do with my father's work. I'm here all by myself. It gets lonely."

She rolled her head to look at him. "That's a terrifically sad story."

"So then what's your story?"

Leah glanced up at him sharply. "Excuse me?"

"Well, everybody has a story, right?"

Leah glanced up at the sky. She could imagine what would happen if she told him her story.

_Hi, I'm Leah Clearwater. My boyfriend Sam, who I was madly in love with, broke up with me when he turned into a werewolf and imprinted on my cousin. They just got married and with luck, there will be lots and lots of little werewolf babies running around soon. Also, my best friend and Alpha imprinted on a half vampire, so they'll get married and have lots and lots of babies, all of which will be one third human, one third vampire, and one third werewolf. Also, I might just be in love with him. And my brother broke some girl's heart. And now I'm sitting here with some kid who could almost be my son, if I could have children, of course. Oh, and lets not forget that I can also morph into a big hairy creature.  
_

Somehow, she didn't think that would go over too well.

"I'm an escaped convict," was what she said instead. Robert didn't look taken aback. She wondered if she should work on her image to come off a little bit more amiable.

"What did you do?" He asked.

"I like to kill pre-pubescent boys," she told him seriously. He grinned.

"Luckily, I matured faster then most."

She snorted disbelievingly.

"Do you want to hear my theory?"

"Not in the least."

"I think you're running away."

"Perceptive."

"But what are you running away from?"

Leah rolled her eyes to the sky. "Right now, I'm debating running away from you."

"Seriously."

Leah stood up. This kid was pissing her off.

"Listen, Robert-"

"Roger."

"Don't care. I don't know who you are, or what you want, or why you think you have any business into my business at all, and why you believe you could have _any_ insight into my terribly complicated life at all. You're like, what, eight? You clearly have no idea about what I have to face! And you know what- I'm fine with that! I'm fine with not having somebody to share all my innermost thoughts and feelings and worries with, because even if I'm alone, at least I'm free! I'm not under this strange voodoo curse that makes me kiss the ground they walk on! They're not going to win!"

Leah took a deep breath in. She stared down at Roger (Robert?) who was sitting as far back in the chair as he could go. Leah was afraid he might just absorb into it. Not that she would miss him much.

"Whatever. Damn. I'm leaving." And Leah started to walk away.

"Maria?" He called out. Reluctantly, she turned around.

"I hate to barge in, but… it just seems to me that by running away from your home, you're letting them win, after all."

Leah gave him a look that should have melted him to dust and then stalked away, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in her gut that was telling her he was right.

* * *

**Roger (Robert? Damn, I can't even remember his name) is my new favourite OC (L).**

**Anywho, review! kthanks. **


	9. In Which Leah Tries to Get some Ass

Leah stormed into her hotel room and lay down in her bed, trying to calm her mind down. It wasn't working. She concentrated on relaxing every part of her body- her legs (wrapped around Jacob Black's waist). Her thighs (and his hands between them). Her arms (around his neck). Her hands (clenched into fists around the bed sheets). Her mouth (and his on hers). Her eyes (and how he refused to look into them).

Jesus, this wasn't working.

Leah got out of bed and looked at the clock. It was nine o' clock. Cursing, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and got up. As she jabbed at the elevator button, shifting from foot to foot, she began to devise a plan. It was fully formed in her mind by the time the elevator came.

She would prove them all wrong.

xxx.

The bar was dank, dark, and loud. It was crowded with people- people dancing, people drinking, people making out. Leah hated people. That was probably why she didn't come to places like these often.

Oh well. She would mingle. She would talk to a bunch of guys. She would find someone who attracted her. She would find someone who pulled her to him. She would find someone who made the world make sense. She would find someone who had all the answers to all her unasked questions. She would find somebody and imprint on him.

And then she would leave and prove that it wasn't as hard as everybody always said it was. She would leave and prove to the world that she could choose who she wanted to love, she would prove that Sam left her because he wanted to and that Jacob trailed after Renesmee like a lost puppy because it was easier then admitting that they weren't right for each other. She would prove it to all of them.

It didn't take long for someone to approach Leah. He was tall, with spiky blonde hair, brown eyes, and a beer in his hands. He eyed her up and down in a way that made Leah want to rip his eyeballs out.

"Hey there gorgeous. Can I buy you a drink?"

It hadn't happened with him. She would have known if it had. She would have felt a pull, she would have felt something deep inside of her, would have felt complete, whole, or something. She wouldn't be annoyed as he pretended to stumble and put a hand on her knee, wouldn't be disgusted as his breath blew in her face, wouldn't be angry as he went ahead and ordered her one anyway. But if she was going to find her soul mate, it might be easier if she was a little less frigid and a little more loose.

"What's your name?" He slurred. She debated using a fake one, but decided against it.

"Leah."

"That's a pretty name!" He exclaimed, smiling widely. Leah could see he was missing one of his teeth.

"I'm Mark," he said. Leah nodded.

"That's great," she said. Then she excused herself to the bathroom.

By the time she got back Mark was gone, and after glancing around the room she saw him putting the moves on another girl, one who looked much more willing then she was sure she had looked. She took another gulp of beer.

The next guy who came up to her was a dark skinned man who couldn't have been more then five foot six. Leah looked down at him in disbelief. She knew she was sitting down, but really?

"I'm Gary," he said. Leah stood up. Gary walked away.

Similar scenes played out with Tyler, Clay, Chris, and Joe. By the time David slid up, a smooth talking, dark haired man with blue eyes and a smile that would have melted an ice cube, Leah was drunk. It took a lot to get Leah drunk- she wondered just how much she had drank.

"I'm David," he said, whispering in her ear as the music pounded around them and pressed in on Leah's ears. She nodded.

"I'm La-Leah," she slurred out. David smiled and plucked the beer out of Leah's hands. She watched it go with a frown on her face.

"And you're dr-drunk," he laughed, placing it on the counter. Leah went to grab it and he grabbed her fingers, lacing them into his own.

"No more for you, tonight," he said. She gazed up at him fuzzily.

"Who're you?"

He smiled, and for a moment, Leah completely lost her bearings. "I'm David. Remember?"

She shook her head, then stopped. That made her too dizzy. "Not at all."

"That's okay."

Somebody stumbled into her, and she hissed, sliding off her chair. David placed his hands just a little too low on her waist.

"Woah, there. Careful. Maybe we should get you out of here."

Leah had seen enough movies to know that men only wanted to get you out of a bar for one reason, and that reason was generally nothing innocent. But her mind was fuzzy and she couldn't concentrate on anything but the bright white teeth in front of her, and she knew that she had come here for a reason, but what had that reason been? Something about answers and belonging and proving them wrong, but right now the only person she wanted to prove wrong was herself, all those nights she had stared at her reflection in the mirror and thought about how undesirable she clearly was, so she took Daniel's (David's?) outstretched hand and stumbled out into the night.

David placed a hand on the small of her back and steered her towards a dingy looking car, but Leah was too drunk and it was too dark and she couldn't see what kind it was. He opened the door and gently pushed her into the seat, waiting until she brought her feet up to close the door. Then he got into the driver's side.

"Where do you live, La-Leah? I'll drop you home."

Something in the back of her head was screaming to get out, but she either didn't know how to unlock it or she just didn't want to. She told him the hotel and leaned her head back, trying to figure out where she was and what she was doing and who she was and why she was who she was if only she knew who she was and damn her head hurt and maybe she shouldn't have gotten in his car and "We're here."

Leah opened her eyes and saw David's eyes boring into hers. They were the prettiest blue she had ever seen.

"Do you want me to help you up to your room?"

Leah closed her eyes. Leah could see in his eyes that he expected her to say yes. He expected to come into her room. He expected to get laid tonight. She could have seen that no matter how smashed she was. The question was whether or not she would give him what he expected to get.

Leah opened her eyes and saw David's blue eyes. She saw his dark hair, falling into his eyes. Saw thin lips, a fairly nice body, and a smile that could light the way in the darkest night. She closed her eyes again and saw him, as she always did, lately. He was burned onto the inside of her eyelids. Tall, dark, eyes that stared her down and a mouth that wasn't afraid to tell her what he was thinking, lips that had kissed her with emotion, even if his eyes had showed none.

She opened her eyes again and stared David in the face. She could go up with him now. She could kiss him and feel what it was like to have somebody want you just like you want them. She could feel what it was like to not be somebody's replacement. But isn't that what she would be doing to David? Because Leah knew, without a doubt, that she would be picturing somebody else, somebody completely different, as David grunted and sweated above her.

She shook her head no. "I think I'm okay," she whispered.

His eyes grew hard and his thin lips pressed together to make them even thinner and as soon as Leah got out of the car he drove away, the door slamming shut with the force of the wind. Leah had enough sense of mind to give him the finger.

She stumbled through the doors and up to her room, fumbling with the card key but finally getting the door open, falling into bed and burrowing under the comforters. She closed her eyes and drifted into unconsciousness in a matter of minutes.

xxx.

_Leah stood with her toes gripping the edge of the cliff. She looked down at the water crashing against the rocks and gulped. Was she really going to do this?_

_"Emily," came a voice from behind her. She turned around and saw Sam, his eyes worried and his hand outstretched. "Emily, what are you doing? Come away from the cliff."_

_Leah looked at him in confusion. She looked down at herself. Yes, she was still Leah._

_"Emily? Emily, please."_

_"I'm not Emily," she said, but Sam just shook his head. _

_"Please, Emily. Come back home with me."_

_"I'm not Emily!" She said louder, but Sam just continued to shake his head. _

_"Emily," and then he took a step forward, reaching out for her, and Leah had no choice but to jump off the cliff. _

_The water hit her with enough force to knock all the air she had sucked in out of her lungs, and she thrashed and kicked and tried to gulp down more but all she got was a mouthful of water. She didn't know which way was up and which way was down and she was panicking, panicking, but soon strong arms gripped her and somebody was pulling her back, pulling her up, pulling her to safety. _

_At first she thought it was Sam, thought he had jumped after her, but the name whispered in her ear wasn't Emily._

_"Bella, Bella what are you doing?"_

_She kicked against him but his grip was strong, and she tried to shout at him but all that came out was a cough, full of salty sea water. He pulled her onto shore, and when he looked down at her, it was different name he whispered. _

_"Renesmee, what were you thinking?" Was what he whispered angrily, wiping the hair out of her eyes. Leah tugged at a strand. It was her hair. She held up her hands. They were a deep brown- they weren't porcelain white. _

_"I'm not Renesmee," she said, staring up at him. _

_"Nessie, come on. Don't do that to me again." He said, and then he leaned in to kiss her…_

_Leah jerked away from his lips and stood up, looming over him. _

_"I'm not Renesmee! I'm not Renesmee, and I'm not Bella, and I'm not Emily, either! I'm Leah! Leah! Leah Leah Leah! Why does nobody care about _me? _Why doesn't anybody need _me?"

_Jacob's face stared at her in confusion. Then it morphed into David's face, then Mark's face, then Gary, then Tyler, Clay, Chris and Joe, and then their lips crashed onto Leah's and she gave in, because it was good to be needed, even if it was for all the wrong reasons. _

xxx.

Leah woke up in a tangle of sheets and sweat and her eyes searched the room for her clock. The red digital numbers read 2:38 AM.

If she left now, she could make it to La Push by afternoon, if she ran fast. And Leah knew how to run fast.

She ran down to the front desk to check out. The night clerk looked at her funny.

"Urgent call," she lied. "My brother is really sick."

He nodded in understanding and then Leah was off, rushing out the door and already half naked by the time she got into the protection of some trees.

Maybe she didn't know who she was, or where she was, or why she was there, or what she was doing, and maybe she didn't have all the answers, and maybe there was nobody out there who could give her all the answers. But there was only one place where Leah wanted to be, even if she didn't completely have the answer as to why.

Tying her clothes around her paw and carrying the rest of her money in her mouth, Leah ran for home.


	10. In Which We Meet deep philosophical Seth

**Happy single's awareness day, gaiz. Btw, only two chapters left after this! I've grown far too attached to this story.**

**The real name of this chapter is: In Which we meet deep!philosophical!Seth. Stupid thing won't let me put !**

**

* * *

**She had imagined it to be different. She had imagined that it would look different, changed, in the two or so days since she had been gone. _She _had changed- shouldn't La Push have changed, too?

Apparently not, though. It was the exact same. Nothing had changed.

The first thing Leah did when she got back was go home. She needed to take a shower. She needed to see her family. She needed to eat some cereal.

She didn't get a chance to do any of that, however, because the first thing that happened when she got in the house was a small hacky sack came flying through the air and hit her in the head.

"Hey!" She shouted, picking it up. "Who threw that?!"

Seth surfaced from behind the couch. Leah stared at him. "Seth? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What the hell is wrong with _me?_" He asked. "You disappear for two days, you don't tell anybody where you go, and then you ask what's wrong with me?"

He looked genuinely hurt. Leah felt her chest constrict. A lot of people had done a lot of things to her, but Seth had always been there. He had always been her brother, had always been her friend.

"I'm sorry, Seth," she whispered. He looked surprised for a second, before he advanced, pulling her into a hug. Leah wondered just when it was that he had grown bigger then her.

"Never run off again, do you understand me?"

Leah laughed. "Are you actually telling me what to do, Seth?" She asked, laughing. He pulled away, staring at her fiercely.

"Yes, I am."

Leah nodded, hugging her brother again. "Okay."

xxx.

The next reaction Leah had to sit through was from Sue. From the way she was going on, sobbing, wrapped around Leah like she might fly away, you would have thought Leah had been gone for years.

"Mom, it was only two days," Leah tried to reason with her mother, but it was no use. Sue could barely speak around her tears.

"I c-can't believe you would d-do that to me! I-I was so- so worried, Leah! G-gone, for two days! And I had n-no idea where you were!"

Leah was awkwardly patting her mother on the back. Sue Clearwater was the strongest person Leah knew- and here she was, sobbing like a baby who had just lost her bottle. Leah looked up at Seth, who was trying to hold back laughter.

_Help me, _Leah mouthed over her mother's shoulder, but Seth just shrugged, as if to say, _it's your own damn fault. _

"Mom, please, calm down, okay? I'm fine, I'm home, I'm safe, and I'll never run away again." She said, hoping she could stay true to her word. Finally, Sue extracted herself from her daughter and wiped the tears from her face.

"Am I free to go now?" Leah asked. She had had far too much emotion for one day.

"No. We have to talk about your punishment."

Leah's jaw dropped open. "Punishment! Mom, I've already gotten a hacky sack thrown at my head."

Seth snorted a laugh and Sue gave him a look that, to Leah, looked like was congratulating him. She crossed her arms.

"Leah, do you have any idea what the past few days have been like for me?"

"You act like I've been missing for months! Mom, I was gone for two days."

"It doesn't matter! You are my daughter- it is my duty to look after you. And how am I supposed to look after you if you are running off? Leah, you can't just _do _that."

"What are you going to do? Put me on house arrest?"

That is _exactly _what I am going to do."

"Mom!"

"Seth thought it was a good idea. And so do I."

Leah shot Seth a look.

"Traitor," she mumbled. He grinned.

"You are not to leave this house until I say so! Do you understand me? I am putting my foot down, Leah!"

"Mother, you cannot honestly expect me to stay here all day!"

"Yes, I do!"

"Mom!"

"No ifs, ands or buts, Leah. Seth, make sure she doesn't go anywhere."

"Where are you going?" Leah asked bitterly. Sue smiled. "I'm meeting Charlie, silly."

Leah groaned. "Ew."

Sue smiled slightly, then wiped it off her face. "I'm still very upset with you."

"The feeling's mutual, believe me."

Sue took a step towards her daughter, enveloping her in a hug.

"You can't spend your whole life being angry, Leah."

Leah begged to differ. You could spend your whole life being angry. There were a lot of things to be angry at. Like being left by your boyfriend for your cousin. Like turning into a giant furry wolf. Like having one friend, and falling for him. Like having your heart broken. Like being on house arrest.

Leah sighed, hugged her mother back. "I guess you're right, mom."

The only problem was that Leah didn't know how to stop being angry.

xxx.

"Seth, I think you're taking this a bit too far."

Seth laughed, patting Leah on the knee. She tried to pull her legs out, but it wasn't working. Seth had taken it upon himself to follow their mother's instructions to heart, so he was currently sitting on Leah's legs, eating out of a bag of chips and watching an episode of _Friends. _

"Seriously. I can't feel my legs, Seth."

He just smiled.

"Can we at least watch game shows?" She moaned. Seth smiled wider, but then stopped suddenly, turning his head towards her.

"Leah?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you leave?"

Leah sighed, turning her head to the side and watching as Joey started doing lunges wearing all of Chandler's clothes. When she spoke, she spoke to the screen.

"It was all just… too much," she said. It was quiet for a while after that, the only sound coming from the banter on the screen.

"Could I _be_ wearing any more clothes?"

"What was too much?" Seth asked quietly. Leah sighed. This was all too heavy. She didn't know how to handle it all. She was so used to just… running away.

"Just, everything, Seth! All the old stuff, you know, with Sam and dad's death and being a goddamn werewolf and having everybody hate you because it's too much of an effort to be happy, and because you just don't give a shit about making people like you, and a bunch of new stuff, too! Stuff like having your best and only friend being in love with a rock and you, imprinting and having your choices taken away and breaking Becky's heart, and the fact that there's a good chance that I might be in love with Jacob Black and he won't even look at me anymore and that he hates me, and it's all too much, and sometimes the only thing I can do is just _leave_."

Seth was quiet for a long time, just staring at the television. Leah found herself wishing she could live in that world, when the only problem was whether or not they would get to Ross's speech on time, whether Rachel would show up, and whether Phoebe would get a new dress.

"I'm sorry, Leah," was all he said to her. She just sighed.

"Why does all this shit happen to me, Seth? And I'm not saying this to be whiny, or anything. I just want to know."

Seth took her hand. "I think it's because you're the only one strong enough to handle it."

Leah snorted in disbelief. "I'm not strong."

"Yes, you are."

"Seth, I just took off for two days because I couldn't handle everything, and you're trying to tell me I'm _strong?_"

"Maybe… maybe imprinting is for the weak. It's for those who aren't strong enough to actually handle all the ups and downs of love. It's for those who can't deal with actual love. So they imprint. They meet their soul mate and they live blissfully in happily ever after and they don't have to be worry about being hurt again, they don't have to worry about fighting for the person they love. But you, you're not weak."

"Neither are you, Seth."

"We're not talking about me. We're talking about you. Life puts you through all this shit because you're strong enough to take it. And one day you're going to meet somebody and you're going to fall for him and he's going to love you back and it's not going to be easy, you'll have to fight for it, but that's what will make it even better. The fact that it was your choice, and it was his choice, too."

Leah stared at her brother in awe. "When did you become so deep?"

He smiled, and just like that, he turned into Seth again, and not some weird werewolf reincarnate of Aristotle.

"It was just something I was thinking about."

Leah shook her head. "You should think more often, Seth. Really."

He laughed and hit her playfully on the arm.

"I'm serious!" She said.

"Jacob doesn't hate you, Leah," he said after a few minutes. Leah stared up at the ceiling.

"Yes he does."

Seth shook his head. "He was looking for you. He was really worried, too, Leah. He said it was his fault. He said he needed to talk to you."

Leah just shook her head.

"You can't be angry at him, Leah."

"Why not? I have every right to be angry at him."

Seth just shook his head. "Don't you remember what mom said, Leah? You can't spend your whole life being angry."

"What's so wrong with being angry, Seth?"

Seth stared at the television, but his grip on Leah's hand would have hurt if she hadn't been a werewolf.

"It'll kill you, Leah."

xxx.

During Leah's three days of house arrest, she ate twenty three bowls of cereal, watched sixteen episodes of _Friends, _and played Monopoly with Seth three times. He beat her two times, but only because he got Boardwalk and Park Place.

On the third day, her mother came home and told her she was free to leave. Leah smiled and then went to walk out the door, before she realized that she really had no where to go.

"Hey Seth. What are you doing today?" She asked, trying to convince herself that it was not lame to hang out with her brother.

"I'm going down to Forks. I'm going to try and see Mallory."

Seth had talked a lot about Mallory Gagnon. From what she had heard of her, Leah didn't like her very much, although she would never tell Seth this- he would have killed her. She lived in Forks and had a boyfriend, Jack, who, according to Seth, was about the size of Grandma Clearwater. Leah didn't know if this was accurate. Due to Seth's hatred of him, Leah was guessing not. She was sure he was pretty big- for a human boy, anyway.

Mallory Gagnon hadn't paid Seth any attention so far. Leah was beginning to think that maybe Seth was just imagining his imprint, but from the way he kept jabbering on about her, probably not.

"I'm going to get her to talk to me, Leah," he had said yesterday. "She thinks she's supposed to be with her boyfriend. But I'm going to convince her that she's not."

Leah had bit her tongue, keeping back her comment about home wrecking. Wasn't it enough that Seth had hurt Becky, now he was going to tear apart a perfectly fine relationship?

That had never happened in the fairy tales, had it? Leah couldn't remember Prince Charming ever swooping in and stealing the princess right out from under her husband's nose.

"Oh, that's cool. D'you think she'll talk to you today?"

Leah tried, really tried, to be supportive of Seth, because he was her brother and he (obviously) really liked this girl. And even though she couldn't help the bitterness in her voice, Seth either pretended not to notice or actually didn't notice.

"I don't know. I hope so. I'll just have to keep trying though!"

Leah wondered how exactly he could sound so upbeat when the girl of his dreams was freezing him out.

"Anyway, I'll see you later. Oh, and Leah?"

"Hmm?"

Seth gave her a serious look. "You should go see Jacob today. He was looking for you. I told him you were on house arrest."

Leah sighed. "I'll think about it."

Seth shrugged and left.

Leah sat and stared at the wall for 43 minutes, trying to decide if she really should go see Jacob. She had just decided to walk around the area near his house and try to 'accidentally' bump into him when the doorbell rang and she was jerked out of her reverie. She got up to answer it, and when she opened the door who else should be there but Jacob Black himself.

"Hey Leah," he said, smiling at her, and she debated for half a second before stepping aside and closing the door behind him.

* * *

**My friend came up with another name for Blackwater. She said they should be called 'Lake' xD**


	11. In Which Jacob&Leah are Defying Gravity

**I can't stop picturing Jacob and Leah singing together. 'JUST YOU AND IIIIIIIIIIII, DEFYINGGGGG GRAVITYYYYYY.' Seriously.**

**Jacob makes no sense in this. I'm sorry. I'm just not very... into anything right now. You're lucky I didn't make them sing.  
**

* * *

"Wh- What are you doing here?" Leah asked as she closed the door behind her. Jacob leaned back against the kitchen counter, acting as if he owned the place. He was suddenly very serious.

"Where the hell were you?"

Leah gestured with her arm in a sweeping motion. "I was on house arrest."

Jacob scowled. "Yes, I know. Where were you _before _that?"

A bubble of anger started up in Leah's stomach and made its way to her throat, spilling out with a tumble of words.

"Why do you care?" She asked him defiantly. He opened his mouth to retort but Leah cut him off.

"Why does _anybody _care? Why does everyone act like me running away is cause to alert the fucking army, when whenever I'm actually home, all anybody does is ignore me! Why do you all act like I can't take care of myself, when I morph into a goddamn fucking werewolf! Why does everybody pretend to give a shit when I leave?"

Jacob stared at Leah in wonder, as if she had just sprouted an extra pair of arms on her head and was doing the YMCA.

"Do you honestly think nobody cares about you, Leah?"

Leah nodded, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Then you're a dumbass."

Her mouth dropped open. "_Excuse me?"_

"You're a dumbass!" He said, throwing his hands in the air like she was a lost cause.

"How fucking dare you! You can't just come into my house and then insult me! You tell me people actually miss me and then you say shit like this, and you wonder why I leave! Jesus Jacob, you're not the smartest are you?"

Jacob just shook his head, a smile poking the edges of his lips up, as if he couldn't believe he was having this conversation. Leah couldn't believe how arrogant he was. She clenched her fists.

"Why are you here, Jacob?"

"I'm here because I was fucking worried about you! Why do you always have to lose it, Leah? Why can't you just keep a cool head and talk things over, for once?"

Leah stared in amazement at him. "You're mood swings are really starting to piss me off, Jacob."

"As opposed to you, whose mood is bitchy, 24/7? At least everybody knows what to expect, right?"

"Why are you _like this?_" Leah asked incredulously. "Why are you so rude, and mean, and cold? Why are you acting like you don't care, Jacob? What _happened _to you?"

Jacob stared at her for a long moment, and then rolled his head up so he was looking at the ceiling. Then he brought it down again, and he was staring at Leah with such intensity she unconsciously took a step back.

"You. You happened to me, Leah."

"What?"

"You! Because I can't _be _nice to you Leah. I can't just make you laugh, I can't just joke around like with everybody else, because that's not who you are. You're sarcastic and bitter and I can't be just normal, funny, happy Jacob Black around you because you don't respond to that. I have to be like _you_. And after awhile of pretending to be like you, I become like you."

"So why do you still hang around me then? Why don't you just go back to being the happy, normal, funny Jacob Black that everybody loves?"

He smiled. "Well, that's the funny thing."

Leah could not honestly find anything funny, at all, in this situation.

"Because I don't want to, Leah."

Leah started shaking her head before she even realized it.

"I _like _being around you. I like talking to you and those rare times when I make you laugh or smile, they make me so happy. I like being around someone down to earth, hell, I even like fighting with you, Leah! Even though you make me angrier then anybody else in the whole damn world, I _like _being around you."

She started shaking her head harder now. No. Nobody liked being around her.

"You think that nobody likes you, Leah, but it's not true. It's just that you make liking you so hard."

Leah was still shaking her head, so hard she was starting to get a headache. Jacob crossed the room and took her head between his hands.

"Stop it. You're going to get shaken baby syndrome or something," he joked, smiling. Leah jerked away.

"Don't."

"Don't what?" He asked, his face confused. Leah looked away.

"Don't touch me," she whispered, staring at the wall.

"Leah…" he said softly, making his way to her again. She slunk back against the wall. "Leah, I'm sorry."

She laughed. "For what?" He hadn't done anything. He hadn't fallen for her. He hadn't imagined what it felt like to touch her over and over. He hadn't craved her taste, hadn't seen her face every time he closed his eyes. He had nothing to be sorry for.

"I think I owe you an explanation, Leah."

She stayed silent. Jacob suddenly turned awkward. "For that night that we… well… you know."

"Refresh my memory," she said dryly. Jacob sighed.

"For that night we had sex."

"Oh. Yes. That night. I'd forgotten."

Jacob flinched, and she felt the tiniest bit of remorse.

"What about that night?" She asked, wishing she had a chair to sit in, but she didn't want to move.

"A lot of things happened, Leah. All of that with Nessie… I mean, she's my imprint. I love her. It hurt, that she didn't want me anymore. She still doesn't. She's made that clear," he said, and Leah debated between asking what the spawn had done and going over there and messing up her perfect, beautiful face.

"That night… I wanted to get back at her. I wanted to hurt her. I was just so angry. I was hurt. All I wanted was to try and hurt her like she had hurt me."

Leah's knees started to give out from under her, and she slid down the wall and collapsed on the floor with a thud, pulling her legs up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She didn't want to hear this. She didn't want to hear Jacob Black say that the only reason he had slept with her was because he was angry at his stupid fucking little imprint.

"It was wrong. It was wrong to use you like that, Leah, and you can't even imagine how much I hate myself for that. But…"

Leah jerked her head up to stare at him. But? There wasn't supposed to be a but.

"It was all to get back at Ness, Leah, but that night… once we got into your bedroom, I didn't think about her once. Not once, Leah. All I could think about was you."

Leah's hands started to shake. She sat on them so he wouldn't see.

"And that scared me. And I know that doesn't make up for anything that I did. I treated you horribly, and I'm sorry about that. But thinking about you instead of Nessie… thinking about you in a… a… a romantic way…"

Leah's legs started to shake, so she brought her shaking hands up to try and stop them.

"It was just… Jesus Leah, I don't know how to say this."

She tried to get up, but her legs wouldn't hold her, so she just stayed against the wall.

"It's like… it's like when you're out in the sun for so long, and you get used to it. And then you come back inside, and everything is that weird, pinkish colour, and it takes your eyes a while to adjust to it. But then, once they do, you realize that, even though being outside in the sun is nice, it's just as nice inside, with air conditioning and lights and things you can control."

"Are… are you saying you can _control _me?" She asked shakily. Jacob grinned and laughed.

"No. Not at all. Nobody can control you Leah. Not even yourself."

She nodded, resting her head on her knees.

"But I can control how I feel about you. No, that came out wrong. I can control myself around you. Dammit, this isn't making any sense. It's like, when Nessie hurt me, I wanted to yell at her, to scream at her, to hurt her back. But I couldn't, because as much as I wanted to hurt her, I didn't want to hurt her. But with you? God knows how often we fight, and I can yell at you Leah. I can hurt you and scream at you as much as I like, and I don't have to worry about hurting you too much."

Leah was trying to figure out where this was going, and she was trying to figure out if this was a good thing. It really didn't sound like it.

"Because I'm not bound to you, Leah. I'm not your soul mate. But that's what makes this better. This is a choice. Being with you, I can hate things about you. I can't hate things about Renesmee. But all those things I hate about you, Leah- like how you won't trust anybody, how you won't let me in- it just makes all the things I love about you so much stronger."

Leah started shaking her head frantically again. "No. No, no. No. You're with… you… Renesmee. You _imprinted _on her. You can't just forget her!"

Jacob sighed, running his hand through his hair before letting it drop at his side.

"You're right. I can't. It won't be easy, and I'll still be over there a lot. I'll still think about her. I'll still hate Nahuel. And I guarantee you, you and I will get into a lot of fights about it."

He took a step closer to her, crouching down so he was sitting on his heels in front of her.

"But dammit Leah, this isn't right! Imprinting, it's not right. It's cruel. It's wrong. And I don't want to be a part of it. Even through it all, with imprinting on Ness and feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, I hated it. I loved her- I still do. But I hate how I'm drawn to her. I hate it, Leah, and I'm not just going to submit! I'm not going to just accept that I'm supposed to be with her forever because somebody said that was how it was! And I don't know if this will work. I don't know if I'll be able to do it, Leah, which is why it's wrong to ask you to be with me, because what if I can't? What if I need to go crawling back to her?

"I might not be able to change it, Leah, but I have to _try_."

Jacob reached out his hands and took hers in his.

"You're shaking, Leah," he said, and she rolled her eyes.

"Thanks, I wasn't really aware of that fact."

"See? That's why I love you. Because you manage to stay sarcastic and bitter even through declarations of love."

Leah, for her part, didn't comprehend a word he had said, because she was too preoccupied over the fact that he had said _love_ twice in that sentence.

"If you were thinking about me, then why… why did you go see her, after?"

Jacob sighed. "I told you it wasn't easy, Leah. I was upset. I was confused. I was supposed to be with Nessie but I had just slept with you and all I could think about was you, which didn't make sense, so I went to see her, because normally, being with your imprint clears up all your problems."

Leah rolled her eyes. Of course it did.

"So I went to see her and she was with Nahuel, again, of course, and she didn't even hug me when I got in, just gave a little halfhearted smile and turned back to him."

"You were arguing with her, weren't you? When I got there."

He nodded. "Yeah. I was telling her that being treated like shit didn't make anybody feel good and she said what are you talking about? And I said that she didn't appreciate me and that I would do anything for her and she treated me like shit. And then she said that just because I was drawn to her because of some weird wolf thing didn't mean she had to live the rest of her life by my side."

Leah let out a noise from the back of her throat. Jacob held up a hand.

"Relax, Leah. So then you came in and had your little, er, break down? And then you told her," he shook his head in disbelief, "your little speech about who she could fuck, and then you left and she turned on me and asked me why I couldn't control my beta."

"Little bitch," Leah murmured underneath her breath. Jacob let out a sigh.

"So I just… left."

Leah gave him a look. "You did not just _leave_."

He shrugged. "Okay. So I turned around a few times. But I never once knocked on the door."

Leah leaned back. "What can you expect, Jake? I mean, she's spoiled rotten, she gets everything she wants…"

Jacob just shook his head, looking down at the floor.

"Do you remember that day on the beach? When I said I didn't have any reason to fight against it?"

Leah nodded, her throat constricting.

"I lied."

She gave a halfhearted laugh. "You're making a mistake, Jacob," she said, and she hated herself for ruining the moment, but she had no choice. This was wrong, and Jacob would realize that it was wrong and he would leave and it would be easier to just end it now.

"No, I'm not," he said, laughing. And then he shifted onto his knees and leaned closer, his hands on either side of her head.

"You're going to regret this," Leah told him. He laughed, his breath in her face sweet smelling, and Leah could remember that night, and damn she wanted him, but dammit, there was no way this could be real.

"I guarantee you I will regret this many times, Leah. But it's not a mistake. It's real."

And then he brought his lips to hers, gently, and Leah responded with enthusiasm, bringing her hand up to cup around his neck as he brought her away from the wall and onto his lap.

Maybe she didn't have all the answers, and maybe there was nobody out there who could give her all the answers. But there was somebody out there who had some of the answers. There was somebody who wanted to find more of the answers. There was somebody out there who wanted to fight for her, who would rather stay inside then be out with the sun. There was somebody out there who was willing to go against the forces of nature, who was willing to fight gravity, all for her.

And she was sitting in his lap.

* * *

**One last chapter guys. Are you as upset as I am?**


	12. In Which There is Another Wedding

**-a/n at end of story-**

**

* * *

**"Seriously, I don't understand everyone's affinity with pink," she said, staring in the mirror. Kim's bridesmaid dress was a shade of light pink, with thin straps and a big bow starting at her waist and drooping down below her ass. It was even worse then Emily's had been. Luckily for Leah, however, Kim hadn't insisted on putting Leah's hair into a braid. She had left it like it was, and Leah was grateful.

"When I get married, I'm going to put my bridesmaids in green. Or blue. Or maybe even black."

Jacob laughed, standing behind her in the mirror and staring at their reflections.

"You're getting married?" He asked, playing with her hair.

"Didn't I tell you? I met someone. He's very handsome, very tall, and filthy stinking rich."

Jacob grinned. "Well I can't compete with that."

"Nope. Not unless you decide to buy me a house, or something."

He threaded his arms underneath hers, wrapping them around her waist.

"I'll look into it."

"Good luck with that," she told him, leaning back into him while his lips fondled her neck.

"You know what my favourite part of this dress it?" She asked him.

"Hmm?"

"My boobs look even in it."

Jacob laughed, lifting his head and staring at them in the mirror.

"You're boobs are fine, Leah. I like them very much."

Leah rolled her eyes, turning around and grabbing her bouquet off the chair and going to stand behind Emily.

"You would say that," she told him, threading her arm through his. Emily turned around and smiled. Leah smiled back.

"Aren't these dresses great?" Emily asked her as the music started up. Leah nodded.

"Definitely. You look fabulous." She wondered if Emily could sense her sarcasm. Probably not.

"So do you!" Leah nodded, trying to hold back a chortle.

"You'd look even better out of it," Jacob whispered in her ear.

"You're lucky I can't hit you right now, or I would," she warned him as they started to walk down the aisle. Jacob just laughed.

Leah stared at Emily's head in front of her. She smiled at the people sitting in the pews. She made a face at Claire, causing her to burst into laughter and Quil to smile like a fool, as he always did when Claire did anything cute. Then she broke away from Jacob and went to stand behind Emily.

When Kim walked through the doors and everybody turned to look at her, Leah looked at Jared's face instead.

His eyes immediately lit up, and the smile that stretched across his face was a mile long. Leah caught Jacob's eye. _Whipped,_ he mouth, and Leah rolled her eyes, planning on reminding him that not too long ago, he was the same way.

It wasn't easy. Jacob still thought about Renesmee a lot, and he still went over there, often. He would hang out with her and Nahuel, when he was there, acting like a friend and being all buddy buddy. Sometimes Leah would go, but she would mostly just stand there awkwardly in the corner and watch, jealously creeping up in her stomach. Sometimes Edward would talk to her, but mostly she would just stand there. Most days, she just stayed at home. But he would always talk to her last thing at night, and sometimes he would even stay over, as long as he snuck out before Sue found out.

Kim, for her part, looked beautiful. Her hair was up, but strands hung loosely down, framing her face. Her eyes were made up spectacularly, and her dress hugged her curves nicely. When she saw Jared, her face broke out into a smile that rivaled his, it was so large and happy.

Leah kind of wanted to gag, it was just so happy and beautiful and lovely.

But it didn't hurt. That was the thing. Pain was no longer her constant companion. And for some reason, she figured it had something to do with the large, smiling man standing across from her.

_Great, I'm turning into some cheesy love story. I might as well just shoot myself,_ she thought to herself, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at her own stupidity.

xxx.

"Would you like to dance?"

Leah looked up at Jacob. "I'm feeling an odd sense of déjà vu."

"I'm serious. Come dance with me."

Leah rolled her eyes. "Fine. But I'm not happy about it."

"Leah, you're not happy about anything."

She shrugged. "That's a moot point."

He laughed, pulling her up against him and twirling her out on the dance floor, nearly knocking over Kim's parents in the process.

"Careful!" She laughed, as Jacob apologized to them. Jacob smiled.

"Whoops."

Leah shook her head. Jacob's hand fell on the small of her back, pulling her close, and the other one found her hand.

"Where's Seth?" Jake asked, his chin resting near the top of Leah's head.

"He's over there. Dancing with Mallory."

"So he finally got her to talk to him?" He asked, turning Leah around so he could see him, dancing with a small girl in his arms.

"She's still with her boyfriend. But they're talking."

Jacob squeezed her hand. "I saw Becky walking the other day."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. She was with a guy. She looked happy."

Leah sighed, resting her head on his shoulder.

"That's good," she said.

They spent the rest of the night dancing, until if was finally time to go home.

xxx.

When Leah got in, Seth was still out. She shook her head, but she decided she really didn't want to know.

"Did you have fun, Leah?" Her mother asked. Leah nodded.

"Didn't Kim look beautiful?" Her mother asked, staring off into space. Leah just smiled, and then excused herself to bed.

She was just about to give in to unconsciousness when she heard a light tapping on her window. Cursing, she got up, threw open her blinds…

And saw Jacob balancing precariously on a tree branch.

"What the fuck are you doing?" She hissed.

"I'm coming into your bedroom. Move."

"You could have used the front door!"

"This is more… romantic."

"There will be nothing romantic about me having to rush you to the Cullen house when you break all the bones in your body."

"Get out of the way so I can jump, Leah!"

Scowling, she did, but not before she told him, "If you fall out of that tree, I promise you I will not stop laughing for two days straight."

He shot her a look and then swung into her bedroom, landing with a bang on her floor. Leah rolled her eyes.

"Great. You just woke up the whole damn house, Jacob."

He stood up, rubbing his backside.

"Next time I'll just stay home then," he retorted, glaring at her. Leah shrugged and then got back into bed.

"Fine with me. How did you even get into that tree?"

Jacob sat down on the bed. "I'm magical."

"Clearly."

Leah closed her eyes, snuggling deeper beneath the blankets. She really was tired.

"Jacob?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you going to lie down or are you just going to sit there the whole night? Because that's kind of creepy."

Jacob laughed softly. "Yes, it is pretty creepy." Then he lay down and wrapped an arm around her waist, burying his nose in her hair.

"Make sure you're gone before my mother wakes up," was all she said. Jacob murmured his promise, and then they both drifted off to sleep.

-FIN-

* * *

**This chapter was a lot shorter then others, but it was the epilogue. Sorry for that. BTW, did I get anybody with the whole wedding thing? You didn't honestly think I would end with them getting married, did you?! I hate when that happens, but maybe that's just me. **

**I know some of you have been or might wonder about Seth. I have that all mapped out. I plan on writing a story about it. I just need to, um... start. **

**Anyway, I can't thank you guys enough for all your reviews/alerts. They made me uber happy. Thank you all for making this so enjoyable (I feel so corny). **

**Thanks and remember, please review! -grin-**


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